136: How Long Do We Need To Keep Talking About It?
After the discovery of pornography use, it shatters the foundation of the entire relationship. Naturally, it becomes the center of most conversations as you try to resolve the issues and pain it causes. Then after you start making some progress, many couples wonder how long they need to keep talking about things? They often tend to have the same conversations over and over again, so they wonder what the next steps are and when they can move forward without always talking about it. In this episode, I share with you, the key indicators that you're ready to move forward and how you can find closure and resolution if you're not quite there yet. For therapy with Sam: Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
14 Mar 202418min
135: She Found Out He Was Hiding A Slip… Now What?
Couples can very easily get stuck when a husband has a slip up, acts like things are normal, and then his wife finds out that he searched for something and didn’t tell her. This can cause a wife to spiral into distrust, self protection, anger and fear all over again and it has such a big impact on the relationship and their sense of progress together. Her wall goes up, she feels suspicious of anything he says, can’t believe anything he says. Tune in to today's episode to get to specific things you can do to work through this situation together. For therapy with Sam: Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
7 Mar 202421min
134: He Thinks He's Making Progress Helping Her Feel Safe, She Doesn't
March 18th: Join the free 5 Day 'Overcome Your Urges' Challenge to get tools to resolve the root cause of your urges so you can eliminate them instead of resisting them. It can be very discouraging when there is a mismatch between husband and wife, and how they view their progress. If hey husband thinks he's making strides towards creating safety and rebuilding trust, but the wife doesn't agree, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and lose hope. This episode, I share three specific things you can do to get on the same page together with your partner and create safety. There are some activities that move the needle more than others. So in this episode I talk about the ones that matter most so you can focus your efforts on those. For therapy with Sam: Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
29 Feb 202424min
133: Narcissism and Pornography Use: Why They've Had It Wrong The Whole Time
The idea of being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel overwhelming. After all, a “personality disorder” is a serious thing… But what if people slinging this diagnosis have been wrong the whole time? What if there was different a way to understand why someone engages in destructive behaviors? In this episode, I do a deep dive in unpacking narcissism and why this label usually makes it hard for both people to make progress and change. I share what really drives negative behaviors in a relationship and how you can actually change without needing medication or some other intervention to control symptoms. For therapy with Sam: Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
22 Feb 202430min
132: When the Tools Don’t Help You Feel Better or Make Progress
Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use. Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use. You've all heard about and have tried the tools – journaling, meditation, prayer, reading, etc. But what if you try those things and you don't actually feel any better? What if you're not making progress, despite using all of the tools that you've learned about. In this episode, I share with you exactly how to find closure and resolution as you're working on yourself and your marriage. Most people leave out one key step that actually helps them to feel better. So in this episode, I go deep into sharing what you can do to make the tools work for you. For therapy with Sam: Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
15 Feb 202419min
131: Emotional Safety in Marriage is Key: Here Are 3 Ways to Create It
Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use. Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use. As time goes on and he develops the skills and make the changes necessary, HE can become the source of safety for her and the relationship. And when he is the source of safety, she can let the wall down and feel more connected and close with him. In this episode, I share with you three different ways that you can free safety in your relationship. For therapy with Sam: Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
8 Feb 202421min
130: The Solution to Avoid Trading One Bad Coping Mechanism for Another
It's very easy for men to switch one bad coping mechanism (pornography) for another (food, video games, social media, TV, etc.). Some people might see those things as far less harmful, so they allow themselves to do it. However, swapping different coping mechanisms is actually really bad because the root of the issue remains unresolved, which sets you up to continue to spiral. Why does this happen and how can we avoid it? Check out the today's episode and get solutions to resolve this problem. For therapy with Sam: Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
1 Feb 202419min
129: How to Help Her Feel Secure Again in the Relationship After Pornography Use
In a relationship, having a strong feeling of security is so important. When pornography addiction or habit is discovered, it completely undermines the security that she feels. This causes lots of issues for both people and the relationship itself – a wall goes up, there's distrust, fear, inadequacy, and emptiness often felt by both people. In today's episode, I'm sharing with you a specific tool you can implement right away so you can build security back into your marriage. For therapy with Sam: Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
25 Jan 202424min
