10% Happier with Dan Harris3 Nov 2025

Are They Really a Narcissist? Do They Really Have Borderline? Are They Truly Gaslighting You? How To Know. And What To Do When People Weaponize Therapy-Speak Against You. | Isabelle Morley

How to handle people better.

Isabelle Morley is a clinical psychologist and EFT-certified couples therapist (Emotionally Focused Therapy). She is a contributing author to Psychology Today, and has been featured in The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Business Insider, Vox, and Very Well Mind, among others. Her latest book is They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship.

In this episode we talk about:

The difference between abuse and bad behavior
How to know if you're really in an abusive relationship
How to correctly use the term 'gaslighting'
What boundaries are, how to set them, and how to know if yours have actually been violated
How to spot a narcissist
The difference between having Narcissistic Personality Disorder and just having selfish qualities
Red flags vs. garden-variety imperfections
The definition and weaponization of terms like 'bipolar' and 'borderline'
The overuse of the word 'triggered'
Basic tips for navigating relationships beyond the therapy-speak
And much more

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Additional Resources:

Navigating Intimacy: An Introductory Guide to Couples and Sex Therapy

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