EP. 32: The Belief That's Keeping You Stuck in Survival Mode (And How to Finally Let It Go) | ADHD with Jenna Free

EP. 32: The Belief That's Keeping You Stuck in Survival Mode (And How to Finally Let It Go) | ADHD with Jenna Free

Take the free Dysregulation Quiz here - https://adhdwithjennafree.typeform.com/adhdquiz

Join the waitlist for ADHD Groups (starting January) - adhdwithjennafree.com/groups

You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Dysregulation Quiz
01:00 Beliefs Are the Roots of the Tree
03:00 The "I'm Behind, I Need to Catch Up" Belief
05:00 What Are Belief Schemas?
07:00 Common ADHD Dysregulated Beliefs
09:00 Perfectionism as a Hidden Belief System
11:00 Step 1 - Name It, Don't Shame It
12:00 Step 2 - Connect Body and Belief Work
14:00 Step 3 - Update Your Schema Over Time
16:00 Bringing It Back to Reality vs. Potential
18:00 You're Rewriting Your Brain's Story
20:00 Noticing When Beliefs Don't Make Sense

Summary

In this episode, I dive into belief schemas - the deep, often subconscious belief systems that keep us dysregulated even when we're working on physical regulation. I explain how beliefs like "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," and "something bad will happen if I relax" were formed during childhood (often through the friction of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world) and continue to trigger our nervous system into fight or flight. Using powerful examples like rushing to a massage appointment or dragging your child home from school for no logical reason, I demonstrate how these beliefs run like software in the background, keeping us stuck in panic, perfectionism, and avoidance. This episode teaches you the three steps to work with dysregulated beliefs: name it without shame, connect the body work with belief work, and update your schema to match your adult reality.

Action Step:

This week, notice when you feel rushed, panicked, or pressured. Pause and ask yourself: "What belief is underneath this feeling right now?" Look for thoughts like "I'm behind," "There's not enough time," "I should be further along," or "Something bad will happen if I stop." Simply bringing awareness to these beliefs is the first powerful step in changing them.

Takeaways

  • Regulation isn't just nervous system work - beliefs and thoughts need regulation too.
  • Belief schemas are the subconscious lens through which we interpret the world.
  • Many ADHD belief systems were formed in childhood from being misunderstood and constantly corrected.
  • Common dysregulated beliefs include: "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," "If I'm not achieving, I'm failing," and "Something bad will happen if I relax."
  • These beliefs trigger the nervous system into dysregulation, even when nothing dangerous is happening.
  • The belief "I'm behind" often creates paralysis rather than productivity - it backfires.
  • Perfectionism can be hidden - your life may look far from perfect, but the belief system is still running underneath.
  • The three steps: Name it (awareness), connect body and belief work together, and update your schema over time.
  • You have more autonomy as an adult than your internal system realizes - updating this is crucial.
  • Living in "potential" (shoulds, judgments) versus reality keeps you stuck and powerless.
  • There's never a logical reason to rush - notice when you're rushing for no reason at all.
  • Thought and belief regulation brings you back into your power and the present moment.

Connect with Me

Episoder(50)

EP. 25: Why ADHDers Rush Everything - The Fight-or-Flight Pattern Sabotaging Your Success | ADHD with Jenna Free

EP. 25: Why ADHDers Rush Everything - The Fight-or-Flight Pattern Sabotaging Your Success | ADHD with Jenna Free

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EP. 24: Overstimulation vs. Dysregulation - Why ADHDers Need to Know the Difference | ADHD with Jenna Free

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EP. 23: The ADHD Overconsumption Trap - Why We Buy, Eat & Scroll When Dysregulated | ADHD with Jenna Free

EP. 23: The ADHD Overconsumption Trap - Why We Buy, Eat & Scroll When Dysregulated | ADHD with Jenna Free

You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Chapters 00:00 Understanding the Fight or Flight Response 03:24 The Impact of Chronic Stress on Consumption 09:14 Bal...

1 Sep 202518min

EP. 22: ADHD People-Pleasing Explained - When 'Being Nice' Is Really About Staying Safe | ADHD with Jenna Free

EP. 22: ADHD People-Pleasing Explained - When 'Being Nice' Is Really About Staying Safe | ADHD with Jenna Free

You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Chapters 00:00 Understanding the Fawn Response in ADHD 02:59 The Impact of Survival Mode on Relationships 07:07 Break...

25 Aug 202520min

EP. 21: Why Can't ADHDers Ever Relax? The Fight-or-Flight Trap That Follows You on Vacation | ADHD with Jenna Free

EP. 21: Why Can't ADHDers Ever Relax? The Fight-or-Flight Trap That Follows You on Vacation | ADHD with Jenna Free

You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Chapters 00:00 Understanding ADHD and Rest 00:49 The Impact of Dysregulation on Enjoyment 04:26 Chronic Fight or Flig...

18 Aug 202526min

EP. 20: The Missing Piece in ADHD Treatment - How Nervous System, Thoughts & Behavior Work Together | ADHD with Jenna Free

EP. 20: The Missing Piece in ADHD Treatment - How Nervous System, Thoughts & Behavior Work Together | ADHD with Jenna Free

Learn more about the ADHD, Regulation and Intuitive Eating workshop here - adhdwithjennafree.com/ieworkshop You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Chapters ...

11 Aug 202530min

EP. 19: ADHD & Food - Why ADHDers Struggle & The Intuitive Eating Solution | ADHD with Jenna Free

EP. 19: ADHD & Food - Why ADHDers Struggle & The Intuitive Eating Solution | ADHD with Jenna Free

Check out the ADHD and Intuitive Eating workshop here - adhdwithjennafree.com/ieworkshop You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Chapters 00:00 Introduction ...

4 Aug 202517min

EP. 18: The ADHD Negative Self-Talk Trap - Why Your Brain Thinks Criticism Keeps You Safe | ADHD with Jenna Free

EP. 18: The ADHD Negative Self-Talk Trap - Why Your Brain Thinks Criticism Keeps You Safe | ADHD with Jenna Free

Check out ADHD Groups here - adhdwithjennafree.com/groups You can get your free ADHD Regulation Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Chapters 00:00 Understanding Negative Self-Talk in ADHD 04:...

28 Jul 202522min

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