1616 || how to do hard things

1616 || how to do hard things

The brain’s main goal is to protect us, so when we ask it to do anything new (particularly if you are neurodivergent) it signals to the brain that there may be danger lurking - so it refuses to do it, because it believes that is what keeps us safe. Many brains looks at all new tasks like a hot stove. So how do we manage this? According to kdimerc we can:


  1. Remove all unnecessary stoves. Look at the task objectively and ask yourself, “is this task really necessary or important?” If it’s not - take it off the burner completely, for now.
  2. Turn off the stove, if you are able to! This will be different for everyone, but it’s typically the things I suggest on this podcast to help you get motivated. Things like body doubling, brain hacks, pairing actions with other triggers, like this podcast, or songs, therapy and medication may help to turn off, or at least, turn down the heat on these stoves.
  3. Get really good at touching hot stoves. Like we have been discussing recently on the podcast, building your tolerance for distress is seemingly less and less optional at this point. But unfortunately there will be times where you can’t ignore a task, and you can’t make it less daunting, so you just have to power through the dread and do it anyway.


While you may not be able to control your motivation to do a daunting task, you can control your mindset around it. You can come to accept the dread as part of the process.


Watch Kdimerc’s video on the "Hot Stove Conundrum"

Read Beautiful Chaos’ blog post on "ADHD + The Hot Stovetop"


Try Huel with 15% OFF for New Customers today using code MYDB at https://huel.com/mydb.


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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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Episoder(1874)

1847 || become the villain

1847 || become the villain

One thing I appreciate about the villain archetype is the confidence it implies. Darth Vader isn’t gonna procrastinate because he is too tired or lacks the confidence to start. Bad guys don’t tend to ...

7 Sep 11min

1846 || integrate the shadows

1846 || integrate the shadows

We all love the idea of a redemption arc. We love the idea of hitting rock bottom and bouncing up and transforming into a confident, powerful badass permanently. As humans, we tend to see things in bl...

6 Sep 10min

1845 || rock bottom is part of the healing journey

1845 || rock bottom is part of the healing journey

Part of me wants to beat a bitch's ass and part of me wants to shut down completely. This conflict makes us feel bad for feeling bad. We have to learn how to integrate these conflicting feelings. Ment...

5 Sep 9min

1844 || the healing journey

1844 || the healing journey

The healing journey is not linear and it exists in many forms. The healing journey outlined by the Buddhist Library is:HURT. FEAR OR ANGER. FEAR AND ANGER GIVE RISE TO CONFLICTS. LOSS OF LOVE FOR S...

4 Sep 11min

1843 || the hero  vs heroine's journey

1843 || the hero vs heroine's journey

Note: When I speak of women vs. men in this context I don’t do it to reinforce the binary. I don’t believe in the binary, but because we grew up and now exist in a society that reinforces the binary a...

3 Sep 10min

1842 || embrace your shadow + become the "villain"

1842 || embrace your shadow + become the "villain"

Do no harm but take no shit.Historically, especially under a patriarchal rule, women have been taught to be selfless, self sacrificing, useful, and kind over everything else. The goal is to be seen an...

2 Sep 10min

1841 || at the edge of reason

1841 || at the edge of reason

"Some things are up to us and some are not up to us. Our opinions are up to us, and our impulses, desires, aversions—in short, whatever is our own doing. Our bodies are not up to us, nor are our posse...

1 Sep 9min

1840 || navigating agency + uncertainty

1840 || navigating agency + uncertainty

A human being is a creature that doesn’t author the architecture in which it chooses from, so it can only act within the possibilities that it is capable of perceiving and expand those possibilities t...

31 Aug 9min

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