Emotionally Unavailable21 Nov 2025

Unlearning Self-Hatred: How Society Shapes Our Inner Dialogue

In this deeply human conversation, therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, sits down with Holli Howard, trauma-informed life coach, gentle guide, and founder of Positive Living Coaching, to explore the often invisible roots of self-hatred and the emotional confusion shaped by societal norms. Together, they unravel how messages like "stay positive," "don't be dramatic," or "just get over it" can fracture our relationship with ourselves, creating shame around the very feelings meant to guide us.

With honesty and compassion, they examine why so many people carry quiet self-loathing without realizing it—and how we can begin unlearning the inherited scripts that keep us disconnected. This episode offers a gentle path back to emotional truth, self-understanding, and a more loving internal dialogue.

Choose one moment today to speak to yourself with humanity instead of judgment. When you notice an emotional reaction—big or small—pause and ask: "If I believed my feelings were valid and meaningful, what would I need right now?"

Holli's links: Website, Insta

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