160 - Why Defensiveness Is Silently Destroying Your Relationship

160 - Why Defensiveness Is Silently Destroying Your Relationship

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument before you even realise what triggered it? In this powerful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores how defensiveness quietly damages relationships, and how you can stop it.

Learn why your instinct to defend yourself often masks deeper fears, and how choosing connection over combat can transform your relationship.

Key Takeaways:

-Defensiveness often stems from the fear that we're to blame, even when we don’t want to admit it.

-The key to change is awareness: notice your emotional triggers before reacting.

-Taking even partial responsibility can immediately diffuse tension and build trust.

-Empathy transforms conflict: put yourself in your partner’s shoes to respond with care, not combat.

-Honest, calm communication breaks the cycle of blame and opens the door to healing.

-Change won’t happen overnight, but with intention and practice, defensiveness can be replaced by understanding.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System

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Episoder(193)

192 - Is Your Anger Ruining Your Marriage? Five Things You Can Do Right Now

192 - Is Your Anger Ruining Your Marriage? Five Things You Can Do Right Now

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You love your partner, but lately something feels different. The arguments go in circles. The distance keeps growing. If you'v...

5 Jul 12min

191 - Do You Have an Anger Problem? Here's How to Know for Sure

191 - Do You Have an Anger Problem? Here's How to Know for Sure

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people with an anger problem don't think they have one. They've never been violent. They don't see themselves as angry pe...

28 Jun 11min

190 - The Split Second That Saves Your Marriage

190 - The Split Second That Saves Your Marriage

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people think anger arrives out of nowhere. One moment you're discussing something ordinary with your partner or family, a...

21 Jun 11min

189 - Taking Things Personally Isn't the Problem - This Is

189 - Taking Things Personally Isn't the Problem - This Is

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people think taking things personally is the problem. It isn't. The real problem is the meaning you attach to what other ...

14 Jun 11min

188 - Is Anger Management Change Sustainable? Michael's Story

188 - Is Anger Management Change Sustainable? Michael's Story

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs sits down with Michael, a man in his late 70s who completed Alastair's anger manag...

7 Jun 17min

187 - 10 Rules To Control Your Anger - Starting Today

187 - 10 Rules To Control Your Anger - Starting Today

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares ten rules of anger management that he has refined over more than thirty yea...

31 Mai 12min

186 - How 6 Hours A Week Could Save Your Relationship

186 - How 6 Hours A Week Could Save Your Relationship

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven simple habits, drawn from the research of relationship psychol...

24 Mai 12min

185 - Why Do I Keep Getting Angry Over The Same Things?

185 - Why Do I Keep Getting Angry Over The Same Things?

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through three powerful mindset shifts to help break the cycle of repeating a...

17 Mai 10min

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