Dr. James Hollis: How to Find Your True Purpose & Create Your Best Life

In this episode, my guest is Dr. James Hollis, Ph.D., a Jungian psychoanalyst, renowned educator and author on finding and pursuing one’s unique purpose. Dr. Hollis is also an expert in the psychology of relationships and healing from trauma. We discuss how early family dynamics and social context create patterns of both adaptive and maladaptive behavior and internal narratives that, when examined, lead to better choices and a deeply fulfilling existence. We discuss discovering your unique self-identity and purpose through specific practices of reflection, meditation and conversations with others. We also discuss self-perception and the evolution of roles within marriages, parent-child relationships, and work. Throughout the episode, Dr. Hollis provides both basic knowledge and practical tools to help us assess ourselves and better understand who we are and what we really want in careers, relationships of all kinds, and society. For show notes, including referenced articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com. Use Ask Huberman Lab, our new AI-powered platform, for a summary, clips, and insights from this episode. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Mateína: https://drinkmateina.com/huberman Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/huberman Waking Up: https://wakingup.com/huberman Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman Timestamps 00:00:00 Dr. James Hollis 00:02:14 Sponsors: Mateina, Joovv & BetterHelp 00:05:57 Self, Ego, Sense of Self 00:13:59 Unconscious Patterns, Blind Spots, Dreams; Psyche & Meaning 00:21:56 Second Half of Life, Purpose, Depression 00:25:37 Sponsor: AG1 00:27:08 Tool: Daily Reflection; Crisis 00:31:47 Families & Children, Permission & Burdens 00:37:27 Complex Identification, Self-Perception; Social Media & Borderline 00:41:55 Daily Stimulus Response, Listening to the Soul 00:45:40 Exiting Stimulus-Response, Loneliness, Burnout 00:51:19 Meditation & Perception, Reflection 00:54:58 Sponsor: Waking Up 00:56:15 Recognizing the “Shadow” & Adulthood 01:02:48 Socialization; Family & Life Journey 01:09:04 Relationships & “Otherness”, Standing Your Ground 01:15:51 Marriage, “Starter Marriages” & Evolution; Parenting 01:19:37 Shadow Issues, Success & External Reward, Personal Growth 01:27:59 Men, Alcohol, “Stoic Man”, Loneliness, Fear & Longing 01:37:33 Women & Men, Focused vs. Diffuse Awareness; Male Rite of Passage 01:44:31 Sacrifice, Relationships; Facing Fears 01:48:20 Therapy, “Abyss of the Self”, Repeating Patterns & Stories 01:55:17 Women, Career & Family, Partner Support; Redefining Roles 02:01:40 Pathology & Diagnosis, Internet 02:07:05 Life, Suffering & Accountability, “Swamplands” & Task 02:11:32 Abuse & Recovery of Self, Patience, Powerlessness 02:14:11 Living a Larger Life; “Shut Up, Suit Up, Show Up” 02:17:49 Life Stages; Despair & Integrity Conflict 02:25:00 Death, Ego, Mortality & Meaning 02:38:07 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer