The One You Feed

In this episode, Nickolas Butler explores finding meaning through caregiving, loss, and writing. At just 20 years old, Nick became his father’s legal guardian after a sudden brain aneurysm — a role he held for 23 years. What began as a family emergency became a long, complex journey that shaped his identity, his values, and his voice as a novelist. In this honest and moving conversation, Nick shares the emotional toll and unexpected wisdom that caregiving can bring, the power of presence, and how life’s hardest roles can also become its most transformative. Nick also discusses his latest novel, A 40 Year Kiss — a tender, hopeful story of second chances, aging, and old love — and how paying attention to real people’s stories fuels his fiction. If you’re navigating caregiving, grieving a loved one, or wondering how to stay open to creativity during hard seasons, this episode offers comfort, insight, and quiet strength.Feeling overwhelmed, even by the good things in your life?Check out Overwhelm is Optional — a 4-week email course that helps you feel calmer and more grounded without needing to do less. In under 10 minutes a day, you’ll learn simple mindset shifts (called “Still Points”) you can use right inside the life you already have. Sign up here for only $29!Key Takeaways:Caregiving and the emotional complexities involved in becoming a legal guardian at a young age.The impact of caregiving on personal identity and life experiences over a long duration.The evolution of storytelling and the importance of listening to others’ stories in writing.The contrast between Butler’s darker previous works and his latest novel, which focuses on themes of love, family, and redemption.The exploration of “old love” and the realities of long-term relationships versus contemporary portrayals of romance.The challenges and nuances of aging, wisdom, and the search for guidance in later life.The personal relationship between the writer and their craft, including the writing process and routines.The complexities of addiction and recovery, particularly in relation to alcohol use.The significance of community and shared experiences, as illustrated through sports and personal anecdotes.The importance of embracing ambiguity and the nuanced nature of human relationships in both life and art.If you enjoyed this conversation with Nickolas Butler, check out these other episodes:How to Embrace the Important Elements of Life with Nickolas ButlerA Journey to Self-Discovery and Sobriety with Matthew QuickFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Aug 1h 5min

In this episode, Michelle Chalfant explores how to quiet the inner critic and finally get unstuck. She has spent 25 years developing practical tools for working with what she calls the other wolf. Michelle explains why most of us are making decisions from the emotional age of about 13. And she’ll give you the exact process for transforming triggers into growth. Her motto is “I will let nothing or no one disconnect me from myself.” and by the end of this conversation, you’ll know how to make that your reality too.Discover the six hidden saboteurs that quietly derail your best intentions—like autopilot behavior, self-doubt, and emotional escape. Download our free guide to uncover what’s getting in your way and learn simple strategies to take back control. Get it now at oneyoufeed.net/ebook.Key Takeaways:The internal struggle with inner voices, represented by the metaphor of two wolves (one good and one bad).Negative self-talk and the journey towards self-compassion and self-acceptance.Emotional age and how it influences decision-making and behavior.Techniques for regulating the nervous system and creating space for conscious responses to triggers.The importance of recognizing and working through emotional triggers as opportunities for growth.Distinguishing between healthy anger and being stuck in a triggered state.The significance of owning one’s reality and the discomfort that often accompanies this process.Developmental model of the “Three Chair Model” (Child, Adolescent, Adult) and its implications for personal growth.The five pillars that support personal transformation, including owning the good in one’s life.Practical tools and scripts for managing emotional patterns and the inner critic.If you enjoyed this conversation with Michelle Chalfant, check out these other episodes:How to Tame Your Inner Critic with Dr. Aziz GazipuraHow to Overcome Overthinking with Jon AcuffHow to Harness the Chatter in Your Head with Ethan KrossFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

29 Jul 59min

In this episode, Lyanda Haupt shares her journey from divorce to discovery and nature's wisdom for life's transitions. She challenges everything you might think you know about hope, about walking barefoot on the earth, and what it actually means to feed the good wolf.Discover the six hidden saboteurs that quietly derail your best intentions—like autopilot behavior, self-doubt, and emotional escape. Download our free guide to uncover what’s getting in your way and learn simple strategies to take back control. Get it now at oneyoufeed.net/ebook.Key Takeaways:Psychological concepts related to change, addiction, hope, disappointment, and self-efficacy.The complexities of addiction and the distinction between harmful behaviors and positive attachments.The challenges of personal change and the forces that resist it, including fear of disappointment and existential anxiety.The concept of "fear of hope" and its impact on motivation and willingness to change.The importance of social support and community in the recovery process.Critique of current addiction treatment models and the need for a more compassionate, harm reduction approach.The role of context in shaping an individual's ability to change and the limitations of individualistic approaches.The significance of incremental change and the value of small steps in personal growth.The importance of respecting resistance to change as a form of self-love and preservation.If you enjoyed this conversation with Lyanda Haupt, check out these other episodes:How to Find Joy, Wisdom, and Wonder in Nature with Mark ColemanHow to Find Healing in Nature with Ralph De La RosaFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

25 Jul 1h 5min

In this episode, Ross Ellenhorn explores the complexities of why we resist change and what to do about it. As Ross explains in this conversation, “staying the same protects you from the insult of small steps.” He shows us why these tiny steps can sometimes feel insulting and demoralizing. Ross also delves into the fear of raising expectations, the pain of disappointment, and why hope itself can feel threateningDiscover the six hidden saboteurs that quietly derail your best intentions—like autopilot behavior, self-doubt, and emotional escape. Download our free guide to uncover what’s getting in your way and learn simple strategies to take back control. Get it now at oneyoufeed.net/ebook.Key Takeaways:Psychological concepts related to change, addiction, hope, disappointment, and self-efficacy.The complexities of addiction and the distinction between harmful behaviors and positive attachments.The challenges of personal change and the forces that resist it, including fear of disappointment and existential anxiety.The concept of “fear of hope” and its impact on motivation and willingness to change.The importance of social support and community in the recovery process.Critique of current addiction treatment models and the need for a more compassionate, harm reduction approach.The role of context in shaping an individual’s ability to change and the limitations of individualistic approaches.The significance of incremental change and the value of small steps in personal growth.The importance of respecting resistance to change as a form of self-love and preservation.If you enjoyed this conversation with Ross Ellenhorn, check out these other episodes:How to Integrate Behavior Change with Your Values with Spencer GreenbergTiny Habits for Behavior Change with BJ FoggBehavior Change with Dr. John NorcrossFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Jul 55min

In this episode, Melody Wilding discusses how to create change at work without losing yourself. She challenges the idea that you’re powerless at work, even in tough cultures. If you’ve ever wondered how to navigate office politics, or if there’s a way to work with integrity even when you’re not in charge, this conversation will give you both practical tools and hope. Get Weekly Bites of Wisdom delivered to your inbox. Every Wednesday, you’ll receive a short, practical email that distills the big ideas from different episodes on topics like mental health, relationships, anxiety, and purpose – into bite-sized practices you can use right away. It’s free, takes about a minute to read. You’ll also receive a Weekend Podcast playlist every Friday to ensure you don’t miss an episode! Join now at oneyoufeed.net/newsletter.Key Takeaways:The internal and cultural struggle between hope and despair in the context of global crises.The concept of “radical hope” as a resilient form of hope amidst harsh realities.The inadequacy of typical positivity in addressing complex real-world problems.The need for a new “rational mysticism” suitable for the 21st century.The dangers of failing to establish a stable, shared sense of meaning in society.The critique of hyper-individualistic and consumer-driven culture in relation to existential risks.The historical evolution of existential risk narratives and their implications for modern society.The importance of community and connection in fostering healing and growth.The challenges of creating secular communities that provide meaningful structure and belonging.The potential for a revived Western rational mysticism to address contemporary spiritual needs and crises.If you enjoyed this conversation with Melody Wilding, check out these other episodes:How to Simplify Your Life and Find More Fulfillment in Your Work with John KaagHow to Recognize the Hidden Signs of Burnout with Leah WeissFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

18 Jul 1h 3min

In this episode, Jamie Wheal explores the question of “Can radical hope save us from despair in a fractured world?” He argues that most of the feel-good positivity we are sold is useless when facing real crises, from climate collapse to meaninglessness. But there is a kind of hope that survives contact with brutal reality.Get Weekly Bites of Wisdom delivered to your inbox. Every Wednesday, you’ll receive a short, practical email that distills the big ideas from different episodes on topics like mental health, relationships, anxiety, and purpose – into bite-sized practices you can use right away. It’s free, takes about a minute to read. You’ll also receive a Weekend Podcast playlist every Friday to ensure you don’t miss an episode! Join now at oneyoufeed.net/newsletter.Key Takeaways:The internal and cultural struggle between hope and despair in the context of global crises.The concept of “radical hope” as a resilient form of hope amidst harsh realities.The inadequacy of typical positivity in addressing complex real-world problems.The need for a new “rational mysticism” suitable for the 21st century.The dangers of failing to establish a stable, shared sense of meaning in society.The critique of hyper-individualistic and consumer-driven culture in relation to existential risks.The historical evolution of existential risk narratives and their implications for modern society.The importance of community and connection in fostering healing and growth.The challenges of creating secular communities that provide meaningful structure and belonging.The potential for a revived Western rational mysticism to address contemporary spiritual needs and crises.If you enjoyed this conversation with Jamie Wheal, check out these other episodes:How to Overcome Cynicism and Embrace Hope with Jamil ZakiHuman Nature and Hope with Rutger BregmanFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Jul 1h 2min

In this episode, Elissa Epel explores how stress can speed up aging and what you can do about it. She explains telomeres, which are those protective caps on our chromosomes, shorten with stress and poor habits, speeding up aging and disease. She also delves into the science of how thought patterns, diet, and even our response to daily challenges can literally change our biology.Want to stay intentional in your daily life? Sign up for Good Wolf Reminders—free, thoughtful text messages from Eric that land once or twice a week. Each message offers a quick burst of insight to help you pause, reflect, and feed your good wolf. No spam. Easy to opt out anytime. Join nearly 5,000 others at oneyoufeed.net/sms.Key Takeaways:The science of telomeres and their role in cellular aging.The impact of stress and lifestyle choices on telomere length and overall health.The relationship between genetics and environmental factors in health outcomes.The concept of “inflammaging” and its connection to chronic inflammation and aging.The influence of diet on telomere maintenance and inflammation.The bidirectional relationship between depression and telomere shortening.Strategies for reframing stress as a challenge rather than a threat.The importance of mindfulness and social support in managing stress.The potential risks and benefits of telomerase and its role in telomere health.The significance of making intentional lifestyle choices to influence aging and well-being.If you enjoyed this conversation with Elissa Epel, check out these other episodes:How to Shift Your Emotions: Moving from Chaos to Clarity with Ethan KrossSmall Steps to Happiness: The Science of Mindful Living with Laurie SantosFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

11 Jul 33min

In this episode, Scott Barry Kaufman challenges us to go from asking ourselves “Why Me?” to “What Now?” as he unpacks a new approach to pain and growth. Scott explains how the real work happens in the messy middle as we unpack the dangers of black and white thinking, and why genuine change isn’t about a single epiphany, but a thousand small choices. If you’ve ever wondered how to hold your suffering without letting it define you, or how to spot the agency that you still have, this episode is for you.Every Wednesday, we send out A Weekly Bite of Wisdom – a short, free email that distills the big ideas from the podcast into bite-sized practices you can use right away. From mental health and anxiety to relationships and purpose, it’s practical, powerful, and takes just a minute to read. Thousands already count on it as part of their week, and as a bonus, you’ll also get a weekend podcast playlist to dive deeper. Sign up at oneyoufeed.net/newsletter!Key Takeaways:The concept of a victim mindset and its impact on personal growth.The importance of personal agency and empowerment in overcoming challenges.The balance between acknowledging suffering and recognizing potential for growth.The role of emotions and cognitive distortions in shaping our mindset.Techniques for emotional regulation and reframing negative thoughts.The significance of self-compassion and its role in personal development.The dangers of black-and-white thinking and the need for nuanced perspectives.The relationship between trauma, identity, and self-worth.The process of post-traumatic growth and healing from past experiences.Listener questions addressing limiting beliefs and the fear of the unknown.If you enjoyed this conversation with Scott Barry Kaufman, check out these other episodes:Tasha Eurich on Growing Self-AwarenessHow to Choose Growth with Scott Barry Kaufman & Jordyn FeingoldFor full show notes, click here!Connect with the show:Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPodSubscribe on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyFollow us on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

8 Jul 56min