Borderline Personality: DBT and Working with Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre

Borderline Personality: DBT and Working with Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre

Forrest is joined by psychiatrist Dr. Blaise Aguirre to discuss Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). They explore how extreme emotional sensitivity can lead to despair, self-hatred, suicidality, and an intense fear of abandonment, and how DBT can teach the skills needed to regulate those feelings. They discuss the nature of self-hatred, how to change the stories you’ve told about yourself, and how their insight and empathy can make people with BPD some of his favorite clients to work with. About our Guest: Dr. Blaise Aguirre is the medical director of 3East at McLean Hospital, a residential DBT program for adolescents and young adults, and is an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He’s also the co-author of a number of books including DBT for Dummies, and the author of I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 4:05: Common features of BPD 15:16: Skill-building versus narrative work in therapy 22:10: What DBT looks like in practice 27:02: DBT skills: mindfulness, dialectic thinking, and opposite action 33:43: How to shift self-hatred 49:22: Stigmatization of BPD 53:25: BPD versus CPTSD 58:52: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode. Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson. Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Complex PTSD and Learning to Live With the Past with Stephanie Foo

Complex PTSD and Learning to Live With the Past with Stephanie Foo

Author Stephanie Foo joins Forrest to share her journey with Complex PTSD. They talk about what it was like to receive a diagnosis, the various techniques and modalities she used (and what really helped), the importance of social support, self-acceptance and self-compassion, difficulties with access and cultural competence in the mental healthcare system, intergenerational trauma, and motherhood.  About Our Guest: Stephanie is a writer and radio producer whose work has been featured on This American Life, 99% Invisible, and Radiolab among other shows, and she’s the author of the truly wonderful book What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.   Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction and disclaimer 2:10: Stephanie’s experience in sharing her story 6:00: Features of CPTSD 7:50: What led Stephanie to seek help, and work as a coping mechanism 10:15: “The Dread” and healing through relationship 17:40: The effects of receiving diagnosis, and aspects of CPTSD that are helpful 25:45: Practices that helped Stephanie and incorporating them practically 33:45: Balancing showing up for other people and receiving care 35:15: Self-love, gratitude, psychedelics, and relationships 38:20: Two way repair and comfort receiving feedback 42:55: The need for reform to our mental healthcare system and who it serves 49:55: Societal trauma among first generation immigrants 53:30: More natural and communal frameworks for healing 54:30: Parenthood 57:00: Resources available on Stephanie’s website 58:15: Recap   Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Mars 20231h 6min

The Unconscious Mind: How to Access, Understand, and Use It

The Unconscious Mind: How to Access, Understand, and Use It

Most of what's occurring in the mind lies outside our awareness. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore the unconscious mind and the material we might find there. They talk about what the unconscious mind is, the purpose of the unconscious, repression, bias, and what we can do to access, use, and release that unconscious material.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:25: What is the unconscious mind? 5:35: Why material gets moved to our unconscious mind 8:45: Freud, Jung, and repression 14:25: Looking at repression through a developmental model 18:55: Bias, relational ‘scripts’, and what we can do about unconscious patterns 21:45: Interpreting dreams, and the limits of science 27:55: Examples of repressed material and how to uncover it 30:05: Rick’s first love story 34:20: Emotional release work you can do without a therapist 38:00: Distress tolerance 42:10: The body-based, non-cognitive nature of unconscious material 44:10: Sentence completions, automatic writing, and sand trays 47:00: Building self-worth, and creating a safe container 54:50: Teaching what you need to learn, and the importance of support 57:30: Including what’s left out 1:00:00: Recap   Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Mars 20231h 7min

What We've Learned From 100 Experts

What We've Learned From 100 Experts

On the (roughly) 300th episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick share what they’ve learned from the many experts in psychology, personal growth, and mental health they’ve talked to on the show. They explore the importance of individual context, the gap between insight and action, self-honesty and acceptance as the catalyst for change, incremental change vs. sudden breakthroughs, and the role of distress tolerance. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and two big themes 2:25: Applying generalized information to your individual context 7:50: The importance of insight and where it falls short 9:20: White light moments and the importance of action 13:25: Wants and needs 25:40: Slow and steady effort 29:35: Going to zero and the scaffolding that leads to sustained change 36:15: Distress tolerance, valuing acceptance, and what you know to be true 41:25: The three mechanisms of change 44:25: Reducing inner friction through mental training, and cultivating trust 47:50: How do you want to use your time? 49:10: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors:  This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Mars 202358min

Somatic Psychology: Using the Body to Heal the Mind with Elizabeth Ferreira

Somatic Psychology: Using the Body to Heal the Mind with Elizabeth Ferreira

Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira returns to the podcast and joins Forrest for a deep dive into somatic psychology. They explore what a somatic therapy session looks like in practice, how it differs from traditional talk therapy, the connection between the body and the mind, and why people with complex trauma are sometimes better served by body-based approaches. Elizabeth then talks about how somatic therapy has supported her own journey with CPTSD and PMDD, and shares some of the practices that have helped her clients. About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an associate therapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her practice is open, and if you’d like to reach out to Elizabeth you can do so through Instagram. Elizabeth also has her own podcast, My Therapist's a Witch. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: What happens in a somatic therapy session? 5:00: Attunement and a quick demonstration 9:55: Moving slowly and navigating dissociative patterns 12:45: Cognitive bypassing and catharsis in letting go 15:40: Trauma and integrating alienated parts of ourselves 21:15: Elizabeth’s experience feeling anger 25:30: When the thing that brings you into therapy isn’t the root of your problem 29:00: Safety allowing comfort with feeling difficult feelings 31:40: Interoception, physical embodiment, and more on attunement 35:50: Clean and dirty pain, different parts, and appreciation 40:25: Resistance, joining with the defense, and compassion 44:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Feb 202352min

Daddy Issues: Attachment Wounding, Dealing with Common Symptoms, and Becoming More Securely Attached

Daddy Issues: Attachment Wounding, Dealing with Common Symptoms, and Becoming More Securely Attached

If you listen to a podcast like ours, you’re probably familiar with the phrase “daddy issues.” A more accurate way to understand daddy issues is as a form of attachment wounding, which describes situations where our adult relationships are affected by complicated, difficult, or traumatic experiences we had as a child.  In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore what daddy issues are, how they relate to attachment theory, sexism and the broader social and historical context, different forms of attachment wounding, and a simple way to understand your attachment style. They then walk through four common sets of symptoms and challenges related to attachment wounding, and what a person can do to move toward secure attachment. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: What are daddy issues? 6:35: Parental roles and symptoms of attachment wounding  13:35: How attachment patterns are created 19:35: Yearning for narcissistic supplies 22:10: Gendered dynamics, and the pejorative use of the phrase “daddy issues” 28:20: Claiming your power 31:15: Forming a coherent narrative, and looking for what was missing 34:50: A simple method for assessing your attachment style 41:50: Social support 44:10: Who you are to others, and meeting person to person 50:55: Situation #1: How to deal with fears of abandonment and being alone 55:00: Situation #2: “I need a lot of reassurance and external validation.” 58:10: Situation #3: Fears related to emotional vulnerability 1:05:15: Situation #4: “I keep dating the same (problematic) kind of person.” 1:10:30: Making deliberate effort 1:14:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Feb 20231h 24min

What Addiction (and Recovery) Can Teach Us About Change with Eric Zimmer

What Addiction (and Recovery) Can Teach Us About Change with Eric Zimmer

Eric Zimmer, a behavior coach and the host of The One You Feed podcast, joins Forrest and Rick to explore what really supports us in changing our ingrained patterns of behavior through the lens of Eric’s journey with addiction and recovery. They share the key lessons from speaking with hundreds of experts, the role of insight, why some people go from insight to action and others don’t, acceptance, shame, and responsibility, and the balance between determinism and agency. About our Guest: Eric is a behavior coach, interfaith spiritual director, and host of The One You Feed, which has over 500 episodes and 25 million downloads. At 24, Eric was homeless and addicted to heroin. In the years since he’s been in recovery, built a meaningful and fulfilling life for himself, and has used the lessons from his own life to help others do the same. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:25: The parable of the two wolves 7:45: Applying our values to our own mental processes 13:00: Change as a three part process: insight, acceptance, and action 14:50: Why some people have an easier time changing than others 19:30: Continuous feedback, quick iterations, and where you rest your mind 23:00: Do we all have the same level of choice? 26:40: Shame, and differing interventions for differing levels of agency 32:40: Feeding the good wolf 40:35: How to want what’s good for us 47:10: Acceptance, responsibility, and beginner’s mind 50:10: What’s missing from the abstinence model? 52:20: Innate goodness, bumping into enlightenment, and self-compassion 1:01:50: “Devote yourself to what remains” 1:03:55: Recap   Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Feb 20231h 11min

Repairing with Family, Dealing with Difficult People, and Recognizing Power: Mailbag

Repairing with Family, Dealing with Difficult People, and Recognizing Power: Mailbag

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners related to how we can build better relationships (particularly with our families) and deal with difficult people. They explore the common traits of happy families, how to deal with people who weaponize psychological jargon, navigating different perceptions of “what happened,” and repairing a damaged relationship with a child. Forrest ends the conversation by talking about the importance of “going to zero” after a breach of trust. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: Question 1: Common characteristics of happy families 8:25: Differentiation and integration 10:55: Symptoms of a less healthy family system 12:15: The role of love  19:55: Question 2: What to do when people use psychological jargon during a conflict 26:00: Defending yourself effectively, and staying on topic 30:50: Question 3: Navigating different perceptions of a difficult event 35:45: Question 4: Healing a strained relationship with a child (or parent) 39:45: Functional repair before emotional vulnerability 46:45: “Going to zero” with behavior when repair is needed 56:10: Recap   Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.   Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Feb 20231h 4min

How to Navigate Common Arguments

How to Navigate Common Arguments

All of our relationships include some conflict, the big question is how skillfully we handle that conflict when it appears. Dr. Rick Hanson joins Forrest to walk us through some effective ways to deal with common forms of interpersonal conflict. They explore the four common disagreements, the subtle ways power shows up in our relationships, separating content from process, and how to stand your ground. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and Rick’s new book 1:25: Common conflicts Rick has seen in couples counseling 3:40: The importance of the way something is said 8:10: Disentangling tone from content 9:45: Distinguishing intent from impact 12:10: The unconscious functions of conflict 17:50: Navigating differences in temperament, and cultivating enthusiasm 25:05: Power tripping, control, and misinterpretation 29:50: Primate politics, escalation, and identifying what’s really happening 35:45: Trust 39:15: How much are we willing to tolerate? 41:10: Dealing with entitlement, and when to push back 43:40: Peoples’ capacity to change, balancing harmony and truth 46:10: Focus on communicating for yourself 49:05: Recap   Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Jan 20231h 1min

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