Borderline Personality: DBT and Working with Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre

Today we’re focusing on a topic that’s been particularly important over the last year: how we can deal more effectively with life's major disruptions. This includes recovering from setbacks, finding the opportunities, and even getting the most out of disruptions that are positive.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 0:55: “One mistake after another.” 1:55: Life After COVID Summit. 5:30: The opportunities in major disruptions. 9:00: The impact of social environments on our self-identity. 11:10: The Theory of Positive Disintegration. 13:30: Framing disruption as a normal feature of life. 18:30: Examples of normal disruptions that occur in life. 21:45: The importance of social support. 23:30: Practices to limit the harm during a moment of disruption. 31:15: The necessity of eventually processing the emotion. 36:00: Taking the time you need. 39:15: Moving into action. 42:20: Integrating a disruption. 47:50: Orienting toward change.  52:00: Mindfulness of contraction and expansion. 54:20: Recap Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Build healthy habits with Most Days! Download it in the App Store or go to MostDays.com/beingwell for more information. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Maj 20211h 3min

We usually experience ourselves as being one "self," but we all have different characters, different "parts," running around inside our heads. And our relationship with some parts is better than others. Today's guest, Susan McConnell, joins Forrest to explore Somatic Internal Family Systems, a powerful form of therapy that helps us bring those parts together as a unified self. About Our Guest: Susan is a senior trainer for the IFS Institute, and has taught Internal Family Systems both in the United States and around the world since 1997. She developed the Somatic IFS approach, which is a synthesis of Susan’s forty years of study, teaching, and clinical practice. Her new book Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy, came out late last year.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 3:50: The Internal Family Systems model. 8:00: The Self, and relationships between our parts. 14:30: Common parts that people tend to have. 18:30: The “spiritual bypass.” 22:45: Using the body to become aware of our parts. 30:15: The benefits of somatic psychotherapy. 33:40: The five practices of somatic IFS. 39:15: Unifying the parts. 41:20: The Six F’s for finding protector parts. Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Maj 202157min

Henry Shukman, the guiding teacher of Mountain Cloud Zen Center, joins Rick and Forrest to explore self-transcendent experiences, relaxing self-identification, and the warm heart at the core of Zen practice. About our Guest: Henry Shukman is a writer, poet, and Zen Master of the Sanbo Zen lineage. He’s published nine books to date which have won numerous awards, and writes regularly for Tricycle, The New York Times and other publications. His most recent book is One Blade of Grass: Finding the Old Road of the Heart, a Zen Memoir.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:50: How Henry came to meditative practice. 3:30: Henry’s self-transcendent experience. 7:20: How Zen practice has changed Henry’s experience of himself. 10:35: Gradual cultivation, sudden awakening.  14:30: The role of transcendent experiences.  18:50: The importance of virtue.  21:40: Unethical behavior among contemplative teachers.  22:40: The risks of “seeking” self-transcendent experiences. 27:00: A framework that supports awakening. 31:00: Where it’s valuable to rest our awareness.  35:30: Practicing when there’s suffering associated with the container of the body. 41:10: Non-separateness, and relaxing identification with self.  47:15: Fear around not-self.  48:10: “The apple falls away from the tree.” 51:15: Recap Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Maj 202156min

Dr. Jennifer Ashton joins Rick and Forrest to discuss everything you need to know about the current state of the pandemic. This includes what vaccinated people should feel comfortable doing, the J&J vaccine pause, how to think about risk, and how we can support our mental health during the New Normal.  About Our Guest: Dr. Ashton is the Chief Medical Correspondent for ABC News, and has appeared on the ABC Network up to 14 hours a day in order to bring viewers important medical information. She is in regular contact with public health officials, including the Surgeon General and Dr. Anthony Fauci. Dr. Ashton is also the bestselling author of six books, including her recently published book The New Normal: A Roadmap to Resilience in the Pandemic Era.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 3:10: Why can’t we just go back to the “old normal?” 6:10: Being realistic about uncertainty. 7:45: The J&J vaccine pause, and why this is encouraging. 11:15: How to think about risk. 14:30: What should vaccinated people feel comfortable doing? 18:30: What else can we do to support our health right now? 20:25: The communication challenges of the pandemic. 24:40: How to “think like a doctor,” and approach new medical information. 27:30: Respecting the common good with our choices. 33:50: Mental health during a pandemic. 37:00: The RAIN method. 40:20: Compassion, grief, and interconnection. 44:00: The lack of preparation, and hopes for the future. Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Apr 202154min

What's the "point" of meditation, and how can we build a practice that works for us? In this episode Rick and Forrest clear up some common misconceptions about meditation, explore major forms of meditation, and share how you can get more out of your practice. Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:15: Forrest’s history with meditation, and some of the benefits of practice. 5:30: What’s the “point” of meditation? 11:30: Skepticism toward narrow views of meditation. 14:10: Do you have to be “spiritual” or “religious” to meditate? 14:45: Three breaths practice. 16:30: Secular vs. spiritual orientations toward meditation. 17:45: The two major tools: insight vs. “calming” meditation.  20:40: Virtue, concentration, and wisdom. 23:20: The tendency to “skip” to insight.  26:30: Why Rick meditates. 32:30: What does it mean to be an “intermediate” or “advanced” meditator? 34:15: What are some of the forms meditation can take? 47:45: Recap As a quick note, there's a little background noise at some moments during the episode. Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Apr 202155min

Over the last year we’ve all been through a lot. In addition to the many major costs, there have been smaller, subtler costs as well, including a pervasive feeling of anxiety. In this episode, Rick and Forrest walk through a normal experience of anxiety and offer some suggestions for how to overcome it.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 3:30: Accepting the presence of anxiety. 6:30: Recognize what’s alright right now. 10:00: Finding heart, and connecting with other people. 18:30: Take action.  26:30: Appreciating the biological part of anxiety. 32:00: Surrendering to what will happen. 37:00: What enables surrender? 41:20: Recap. Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Apr 202147min

How can we bring useful qualities of contemplative practice into our normal, everyday lives as people living in the real world? Senior meditation teacher and author Stephen Snyder joins us to explore that overarching question, alongside a variety of topics related to “not-self,” the true nature of the self, and self-transcendence. About our Guest: Stephen is a senior meditation teach who has been practicing meditation since 1976. He’s the author of three books, including Buddha’s Heart. Stephen is also a lawyer by trade, and has practiced law on behalf of a number of Zen masters and Buddhist organizations.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 2:35: Stephen’s background in Buddhism.  6:30: A brief background in types of Buddhist practice. 10:30: Bringing practice into our work life. 14:00: Why do contemplative teachers behave badly?  17:50: Personality and the self. 20:00: “Not-self” and the end of suffering.  23:20: Why would we want to “transcend” the self? 26:10: Maintaining practice during a normal life.  29:45: Do we have a “self,” and the fear of emptiness. 33:30: Suffering attached to the self.  35:30: What do we get out of practice? 39:30: The purpose and limitations of meditation. 41:45: The threat of change.  44:10: The “brahmavihārās,” and Buddha’s Heart 47:00: Practices for self-development. 52:30: What’s ‘in’ a self-transcendent experience? 56:30: Ways to experience self-transcendence.  1:02:10: Recap Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Apr 20211h 7min

One of the hardest, and most important, parts of creating great relationships is setting healthy boundaries with other people. Boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab joins the show to explore how we can trust our instincts, work through codependency, and build better boundaries.  About Our Guest: Nedra has been a therapist for 13 years, and focuses on helping people build better relationships by teaching them how to implement healthy boundaries. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Guardian, Psychology Today, Self, and Vice, and she’s the author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, on sale now. You also might have encountered Nedra’s work on Instagram, where she has an extremely popular page that shares wonderful content.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts including Nedra during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:40: What drew Nedra to her work on boundaries.  4:25: Early signs that your boundaries are strong or flimsy. 6:20: Honoring the needs of children. 8:45: Trusting your instincts.  11:40: Codependency. 13:05: How healthy boundaries support intimate relationships. 15:15: Distinctions between different kinds of boundaries 17:20: Working with feelings of selfishness.  19:45: Walking through a process of setting a boundary.  23:30: Anxiety associated with setting boundaries.  26:00: Dealing with people who won’t change.  30:40: Self-esteem and self-worth. 35:55: Fear and guilt. 39:50: Teaching people that boundaries are okay. 44:30: Respecting the boundaries of other people. 46:30: Accepting and letting go. 51:00: Creating healthy internal boundaries. 54:00: A message to your younger self.  Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Mars 20211h 4min