Borderline Personality: DBT and Working with Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre

Today we have the pleasure of speaking with a true expert on many of the topics we’ve exploring during our series on “Who Am I?”, including borderline personality disorder, sociopathy, and narcissism: Dr. Ramani Durvasula. Dr. Ramani is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and expert on the impact of toxic narcissism. She is a Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and also a Visiting Professor at the University of Johannesburg. She is the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist, and her new book, DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility will be coming out October 1st. Today we explored a range of topics with Dr. Ramani including: What distinguishes true NPD from someone just “being a jerk.” Techniques for interacting with “10% narcissists” more effectively. The importance of drawing clear boundaries. The different places narcissism can come from, and the different ways we can interact with different kinds of narcissists. Working with narcissism inside of our cultural framework. If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Timestamps: 02:01: Where did your interest in narcissism come from? 04:27: The difference between someone who truly has NPD and someone who is just a jerk. 07:05: What is it like to be on the receiving end of someone who’s a narcissist? 09:04: Advice for those in a relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies. 15:56: The different places narcissism can come from, and the different ways we can respond to each type. 26:41: What can we do to avoid acquiring narcissistic traits, and how can we help our friends manage these traits more effectively? 30:43: Human evolution, social pressure, and narcissism. 41:07: If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing, what would you say? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Aug 201944min

Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their exploration of depression and depressed mood with an episode focused on some of the tactics and strategies people can use, both in their own mind and out in the world, to help manage, and even overcome, a depressed mood. Depression and depressed mood are major problems for many people, and the material we’re going to get into today will be sensitive in nature. If this is sensitive territory for you, please be kind to yourself. Feel free to skip around or turn off the episode altogether. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Ideas: 02:50: The causes of depressed mood, and some places where we can intervene to create positive changes. 05:59: Why it’s so challenging for someone with depressed mood to make psychological changes. 16:22: Using mindfulness to work with a current episode, or prevent relapse. 21:52: Other psychological interventions. 26:30: Overcoming the lack of motivation that accompanies depressed mood. 27:43: How do you get out of the depression slump? 37:37: What can we do to help other people with their depressed mood? 42:40: Recap If you've been enjoying the podcast, please rate and subscribe to it through the platform of your choice! Overcome Anxiety:  Let go of anxiety and grow a greater sense of calm strength with Rick's Dealing with Anxiety program, which offers 5 powerful practices for managing stress and worries. Save 10% with coupon code BEINGWELL. Sponsors: Reset and rebalance with Recess, a sparkling water infused with hemp extract and adaptogens. Take 15% off your first order by using code BEINGWELL at checkout. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Additional Resources: Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff The Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher Germer Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple by Seth Gillihan Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Aug 201947min

Today we’re continuing our ongoing series on “Who Am I” by focusing on a huge topic: depressed mood, including clinical depression. Today's episode is the first of two parts, and explores what depression is, where it comes from, and how it differs from sadness. Depression and depressed mood are major problems for many people, and the material we’re going to get into today will be sensitive in nature. If this is sensitive territory for you, please be kind to yourself. Feel free to skip around or turn off the episode altogether. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 03:12: What is the difference between "feeling down" and clinical depression?07:03: How can someone tell if they’re depressed?20:29: What is the difference between depression and sadness?27:30: Where does depression come from?38:10: Recap If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsors: Reset and rebalance with Recess, a sparkling water infused with hemp extract and adaptogens. Take 15% off your first order by using code BEINGWELL at checkout. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Aug 201941min

Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, Roshi Joan Halifax shares the most important thing she does, each day, for her own well-being. Purchase Roshi Joan's most recent book Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet here. We’d also like to let people know about the Upaya Institute’s general fund, which allows Upaya to provide a wide array of workshops, trainings, and retreats for thousands of people each year. If you would like to give to the fund, please follow this link. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Aug 20192min

Though there is no more human experience than death, it’s one of the most challenging topics to explore. Today we have the pleasure and privilege of learning from a true pioneer in the field of end-of-life care: Roshi Joan Halifax. As you may know, “roshi” is a title for the honored teacher of a Zen Buddhist community. Roshi Joan is a Buddhist teacher, Zen priest, and doctor of medical anthropology. She is Founder, Abbot, and Head Teacher of Upaya Institute and Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. She’s also the author of several classic books, including most recently publisehd Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet. We’d also like to let people know about the Upaya Institute’s general fund, which allows Upaya to provide a wide array of workshops, trainings, and retreats for thousands of people each year. If you would like to give to the fund, please follow this link. Timestamps: 2:09: Roshi Joan's childhood experience, and how it shaped her. 4:42: How has your work with the dying informed the way that you’ve lived your life? 8:17: In your experience of sitting with people who are going through the dying process, what have you found they particularly valued or regretted? 10:14: Handling existential dread. 11:48: We only have one "big" death, but we may have many "small" deaths throughout life. What lessons can we take from the "big" death and apply to those? 18:18: Can we know our own true nature? 20:56: Do you have any counsel for those who are grieving? 26:43: A teaching from indigenous cultures. 28:17: If you could go back in time and speak to yourself as a child or young adult, what would you say? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Aug 201932min

Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore questions from listeners related to managing our relationship with ourselves, and particularly our tendency toward self-criticism. If you’d like to submit a question to be answered during a future mailbag, use the form on this page. If you would like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's new online program Neurodharma, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL for 10% off the purchase price. Timestamps: 01:05: What is the most productive way to deal with a life-changing diagnosis?11:16: What can I do to break through my fears of participating in social activities?20:17: How can I better assert and protect myself during everyday interactions with others? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Juli 201935min

Sometimes it's nice to have just one thing to focus on: a simple theme each week to reflect on and be inspired by. On this short episode, professor Gaylon Ferguson shares the most important thing he does, each day, for his own happiness. Sign-up for Just One Thing from Dr. Rick Hanson here, and receive more simple practices for greater well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Juli 20193min

Today we explore the rich topics of fear and fearlessness with professor Gaylon Ferguson. Professor Ferguson is a member of the faculty at Naropa University in Bolder, Colorado. He is a graduate of Exeter and Yale, and holds a doctorate in cultural anthropology from Stanford. He’s also a senior teacher in the Shambhala Buddhist lineage, and has been a teacher in residence at the San Francisco Zen Center and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California. He is also the author of two books: Natural Bravery: Fear and Fearlessness as a Direct Path of Awakening, and Natural Wakefulness: Discovering the Wisdom We Were Born With. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Timestamps: 00:58: When did you begin to explore fear and fearlessness? 03:25: Why do you think that courage is our basic nature? 05:57: How can someone experience innate courage? 10:30: The "fear of ourselves." 12:55: What are some of the best practices that people can use to address a feeling of emptiness? 17:04: Becoming more comfortable with groundlessness. 22:59: Handling acute, in the moment experiences of fear. 29:03: Outside of self-awareness, are there certain tactics you have found that help move people into a stance of welcoming? 32:07: If you could go back in time and talk to your younger self, what would you say? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Juli 201937min