Ask Uncut - Is This Normal? Bridesmaid Beef & Beers For One

Hey Lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep and burning questions!

Britt has some terrible dating advice that includes faking a celebrity interaction.
The tide seems to be turning on Raygun. There is more speculation around the ethics of her journey to the Olympics since we recorded on Monday morning.
Laura helps Britt learn about her (Ben's) new home in Romania.

Vibes for the week:

Laura: Two Doting Dads Book: The Quest For Free Time

Keeshia: It Ends With Us Film

Britt: Diary of a CEO podcast with Francis Ngannou

Then we jump into your questions!

AM I UNFULFILLED OR IS THIS NORMAL?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I have kids, he doesn’t. I have always felt like he is my best mate, not necessarily my penguin but at the same time it’s been 5 years we’ve put in the work and my kids now adore him. His best friend moved in with us a year ago. I obviously noticed this man was attractive and I’ve known him for a long time but I was happy and content with my partner and I thought hey it’s normal to just appreciate someone’s good looks.

Until… he messaged me one night. I was at work and he had been drinking. It said “Hey please don’t repeat what I’m about to tell you.” He goes on to tell me that he finds me irresistible and the reason he chose to take a FIFO (3 on, 1 off) job was because he struggles to be alone with me. He said he thinks about me non stop.

I would be lying if I didn’t say I felt the lust. I went home, slept it off and felt so guilty that I showed my boyfriend the messages. He kind of just said ‘Oh wow he is thinking with the wrong body part’ and has since pretended like it never happened. Now I’m in a tailspin. I dream about this man. He creeps into my mind constantly. He comes home in a week and I’ve tried gently suggesting to my boyfriend that we ask him to move out. Obviously I haven’t told him that I am attracted to his best friend but I just said that it’s a little awkward. My partner just replied that the extra income is helpful and he probably won’t try anything. But what he doesn’t know is that his friend has messaged me since telling me he is sorry, however I am just so beautiful and kind, how I’m the sweetest and he can’t help but think about me. I truly think that I’m just feeling this way because after 5 years and being a full time working mum, I feel invisible to my family so having a man call me irresistible is a thrill. I do not want to go against my morals and destroy someone’s trust over a fling but I also don’t want to tell my partner how I feel. Should I be looking at this as a sign I’m unfulfilled in my relationship and maybe it’s time to move on (not with his friend) or is this just a normal reaction to having an attractive man show me attention and once he has moved out I can just move past this without hurting my boyfriend?

DON'T WANT TO WEAR THE BRIDAL OUTFIT
How do I tell the bride and groom of a wedding I’m attending later this year that the bridal party outfit they have chosen for me is awful and I don’t want to wear it? Keep in mind they also asked me to pay for it (so now I am out of pocket too). I live in a different state to them, so had to order online without trying the outfit before buying. It is unflattering, does not suit my shape, and I feel so uncomfortable in it. I do not want to wear this in public, let alone in front of a crowd at a wedding. I had suggested early on that if I’m paying for it, could I buy a nice dress in their colours that I’d be likely to wear again. They insisted however they wanted everyone to be ‘uniform’. Do I just have to suck it up, as the day is not about me? (Also, this is a destination wedding so I am already spending thousands on travel and accommodation to attend)

I DON'T LIKE HIM DRINKING ALONE
My husband and I had a disagreement and both genuinely could not work out who was in the wrong, so reverting to the brains trust! My husband works shift work, so often has midweek days off or finishes really early on weekdays that I'm working. Sometimes (say once a week) he likes to go to the local pub by himself and have a few beers until I finish work. He usually comes home tipsy on these occasions. I feel uncomfortable about him drinking by himself and coming home tipsy after doing so. I don't have any issue with him drinking with friends or if we have a few drinks together - it's just the by himself aspect (which I think stems from growing up with parents who had issues with alcohol). He gets upset by this and feels like I'm trying to control how he spends his free time. He doesn't think it's unreasonable to do this once a week. I don't have an issue with him doing any activity by himself that doesn't involve alcohol, so don't feel that I'm being controlling. Who is in the wrong?! Am I being unreasonable? We both have had multiple convos about this and both are not sure if each of us are in the wrong. For context, we are in our early 30's and have no kids, just living at home the 2 of us (and otherwise have an amazing relationship)!

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