When "I Understand" Can Hurt And Why: Healing the Wound of Unvalidated Grief

When "I Understand" Can Hurt And Why: Healing the Wound of Unvalidated Grief

In this solo episode, therapist and host Malisa Hepner unpacks why grief can feel so activating when someone says they "understand" your loss—especially when comparisons miss the mark. She explores how these moments often trigger deep neglect wounds and a fear that our pain isn't being seen or honored. Rather than staying in victimhood or demanding external validation, Malisa invites listeners into a more grounded truth: our pain does not need to be validated by others to be real. Through compassionate reflection, she shares how healing begins when we recognize our triggers, take responsibility for our inner safety, and learn to validate ourselves—without minimizing the depth of our grief, or others.

  • Notice the trigger: when you feel invalidated, name the neglect wound being activated.

  • Release victimhood by separating your pain from others' capacity to understand it.

  • Practice self-validation: affirm the reality and depth of your grief without comparison.

  • Create internal safety by meeting your pain with compassion before seeking it externally.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

  • $3-Become a friend of the show and support its mission

  • $5-Ad free episodes

  • $10-Benefits listed above and free access to monthly workbook

  • $30- In addition to the above benefits, you can receive recurring ad space on episodes posted outside of Patreon. (Perfect for single owner/operator small business looking for low budget ad space)

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

Contact Jen Taylor: jentaylorfani@gmail.com Jen Taylor Insta, Jen Taylor Books

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Finding Meaning in Contrast: How Unwanted Experiences Reveal Who We Are

Finding Meaning in Contrast: How Unwanted Experiences Reveal Who We Are

Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, sits down with Dean Graves, author, podcaster, mental health counselor, consciousness researcher, messenger, to explore the deeper purpose behind the experiences we ...

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Reincarnation, Spiritual Lessons, and the Energy of Money

Reincarnation, Spiritual Lessons, and the Energy of Money

Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, and psychic medium/entrepreneur, June Edward, explore parapsychology, reincarnation, and the spiritual evolution of the soul. Together, they uncover insights into th...

3 Nov 202547min

The Midlife Awakening: Healing, Identity, and Emotional Transformation

The Midlife Awakening: Healing, Identity, and Emotional Transformation

The Midlife Awakening: Healing, Identity, and Emotional Transformation Therapist and host Malisa Hepner, joins Dr. Sue McCreadie, pediatrician and midlife transformation expert, for a soulful explorat...

31 Okt 202553min

Healing, Humor, and Heart: Exploring Love, Loss, and Spiritual Growth

Healing, Humor, and Heart: Exploring Love, Loss, and Spiritual Growth

In this heartfelt conversation, Malisa Hepner and author Nikki Allen dive deep into the journey of self-discovery, love, and emotional healing. They discuss vulnerability, trust, and the ways humor an...

29 Okt 20251h 12min

The Ripple of Change: Awakening Conscious Leadership Through Personal Transformation

The Ripple of Change: Awakening Conscious Leadership Through Personal Transformation

Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, and Cynthia Rivard, business advisor, spiritual teacher, author and environmental advocate, explore how inner transformation fuels collective healing. They discuss ...

27 Okt 202554min

The Heart Freedom Method: Transforming Subconscious Blocks into Deeper Love and Spiritual Growth

The Heart Freedom Method: Transforming Subconscious Blocks into Deeper Love and Spiritual Growth

In this soulful conversation, therapist and host, Malisa Hepner and Dr. Lise Janelle, peak performance and results expert, author and speaker, explore the Heart Freedom Method—a transformative approac...

24 Okt 20251h 3min

Breath, Spirit, and Self: A Journey Toward Healing and Higher Awareness

Breath, Spirit, and Self: A Journey Toward Healing and Higher Awareness

Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner and Cheryl Stelte, spiritual coach, master healer & author, explore the sacred connection between breath, spirit, and healing. Cheryl shares how breathwork awakens t...

22 Okt 202552min

Unmasking Shame: Healing from Covert and Malignant Narcissism

Unmasking Shame: Healing from Covert and Malignant Narcissism

In this profound conversation, Malisa Hepner and Emma Lyons delve into the complexities of covert and malignant narcissism and the pervasive role of shame throughout history. They explore how shame ha...

20 Okt 20251h 5min

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