When "I Understand" Can Hurt And Why: Healing the Wound of Unvalidated Grief

When "I Understand" Can Hurt And Why: Healing the Wound of Unvalidated Grief

In this solo episode, therapist and host Malisa Hepner unpacks why grief can feel so activating when someone says they "understand" your loss—especially when comparisons miss the mark. She explores how these moments often trigger deep neglect wounds and a fear that our pain isn't being seen or honored. Rather than staying in victimhood or demanding external validation, Malisa invites listeners into a more grounded truth: our pain does not need to be validated by others to be real. Through compassionate reflection, she shares how healing begins when we recognize our triggers, take responsibility for our inner safety, and learn to validate ourselves—without minimizing the depth of our grief, or others.

  • Notice the trigger: when you feel invalidated, name the neglect wound being activated.

  • Release victimhood by separating your pain from others' capacity to understand it.

  • Practice self-validation: affirm the reality and depth of your grief without comparison.

  • Create internal safety by meeting your pain with compassion before seeking it externally.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

  • $3-Become a friend of the show and support its mission

  • $5-Ad free episodes

  • $10-Benefits listed above and free access to monthly workbook

  • $30- In addition to the above benefits, you can receive recurring ad space on episodes posted outside of Patreon. (Perfect for single owner/operator small business looking for low budget ad space)

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

Contact Jen Taylor: jentaylorfani@gmail.com Jen Taylor Insta, Jen Taylor Books

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Unmasking Shame: Healing from Covert and Malignant Narcissism

Unmasking Shame: Healing from Covert and Malignant Narcissism

In this profound conversation, Malisa Hepner and Emma Lyons delve into the complexities of covert and malignant narcissism and the pervasive role of shame throughout history. They explore how shame ha...

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Shadow Work, Grief, and Generational Healing: A Journey Toward Emotional Availability

Shadow Work, Grief, and Generational Healing: A Journey Toward Emotional Availability

In this soul-stirring conversation, Malisa Hepner and Vee Asimov explore the depths of shadow work, emotional authenticity, and the sacred responsibility of healing generational patterns. Together, th...

17 Okt 20251h 12min

The Art of Emotional Integration: Shadow Work, Soul Growth, and Existential Healing

The Art of Emotional Integration: Shadow Work, Soul Growth, and Existential Healing

In this powerful conversation, Vee Asimov and Malisa Hepner explore the intersection of shadow work, emotional integration, and spiritual awakening. Through raw storytelling and therapeutic insight, t...

15 Okt 20251h 7min

The Courage to Belong: A Journey of Identity, Voice, and Soul

The Courage to Belong: A Journey of Identity, Voice, and Soul

Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, and Kevie Jackson, a self-empowerment creative, singer, and podcast host, explore what it means to truly know and accept yourself. Through stories of childhood, fami...

13 Okt 20251h

From Chaos to Calm: Harnessing Yoga and Intuition for Emotional Balance

From Chaos to Calm: Harnessing Yoga and Intuition for Emotional Balance

In this soulful conversation, therapist and host, Malisa Hepner and Lisa Danahy, founder and CEO of Create Calm Inc and author of, "Creating Calm in Your Classroom", explore the transformative power o...

10 Okt 202557min

The Courage to Heal: Sobriety, Self-Discovery, and Living in Alignment

The Courage to Heal: Sobriety, Self-Discovery, and Living in Alignment

In this heartfelt conversation, therapist and host, Malisa Hepner and Daryl Dittmer, author and entrepreneur, explore the transformative journey of sobriety and the emotional landscape that accompanie...

8 Okt 20251h

The Mirror of the Soul: Shadow Integration and Spiritual Balance

The Mirror of the Soul: Shadow Integration and Spiritual Balance

In this profound episode,therapist and host, Malisa Hepner and Reginald Martin, metaphysician, creator of Kametaphysics™, spiritual educator and author, explore the intersection of spirituality and s...

6 Okt 202555min

Mindful Nourishment: Rethinking Food, Body Image, and Sustainable Health

Mindful Nourishment: Rethinking Food, Body Image, and Sustainable Health

Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner and Lisa Franz, owner and head coach at Nutrition Coaching and Life and host of the Nutrition and Life Podcast, explore cultural differences in eating habits, the psy...

3 Okt 202556min

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