My Cats Are Fat

This is episode 71 of the WET Podcast.

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Friday, May 30, 7:30 PM

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THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

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00:00:00 - Bureaucracy

00:03:06 - Phillip’s Birthday Recap

00:03:30 - 4 Years in Austin has Aged Us

00:06:39 - Su*cide Ultimatums

00:08:27 - Falling Asleep/Sneezing While Driving

00:09:38 - Justin’s Fat Cats Keep Vomiting

00:12:22 - Actually Recapping Phil’s B-Day

00:13:03 - The Ojos Locos Incident

00:19:49 - The Celiac Incident

00:24:50 - We Love Women!

00:25:54 - How Phillip Serves People

00:26:21 - Markus’s Worst BBQ Customers

00:26:54 - Justin Breaks Down Restaurant Health Code

00:28:03 - Phil’s Phinancial Advice

00:29:01 - Justin Forgot it Tax Day

00:30:12 - The WET Boys Adjust Their Thermostats (Remotely)

00:30:31 - Uncle Sam is the Worst Uncle

00:31:27 - Recycling Cat Throw-Up

00:32:39 - Justin’s Fat Cats are Shipping Up to Ohio

00:33:41 - Markus Offends Justin and his Fat Cats

00:35:32 - Rule #3 Invoked (Say Something Positive)

00:37:30 - Why Justin and Markus Always Fight

00:41:48 - The World is Out to Get Justin

00:42:55 - Toll Roads are a (Chinese) Scam

00:45:22 - Trucks are Awesome!

00:46:42 - Justin’s Cats are Gaslighting Him

00:47:05 - Explaining Mecca/Islam to Justin

00:49:07 - Markus Watched the Da Vinci Code

00:50:23 - Handmaid's Tale: Explained

00:54:49 - The Dire Wolf Returns

00:55:43 - We’re All Gonna Die

00:56:11 - Markus Diagnosed as Gay

00:57:15 - Markus Got a New Dino!

01:01:30 - Markus liest die deutschen Anleitungen

01:01:56 - It's a Slip and Slide Summer

01:02:37 - More Cat Vomit

01:02:57 - Markus Curling Bottles of Liquor

01:04:59 - Phillip’s Cat is a Menace

01:05:35 - Soul was a Great Movie

01:06:03 - The WET Boys Reflect on their Careers

01:08:55 - Phillip Dresses for the Days Off He Wants

01:09:28 - Edibles and P*ss Bottles

01:10:29 - Watching Justin’s Serving Stories Come to Life

01:14:53 - Austin Mushroom Convention

01:16:37 - When the Accent Matches the Order

01:18:05 - Stories from Black Rooms

01:21:15 - Austin is Missing True CULTURE

01:23:06 - Old Austin People Rule

01:25:06 - The Mushroom Chronicles

01:29:16 - Justin’s Best Set was on Molly

01:30:44 - Markus Describes Sobriety on Stage

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Justin:

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Markus:

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Phillip:

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WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

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