59: The Truth About Trust

The BRAVING Checklist: 7 Research-Backed Ways to Assess Trust

Today, we're diving deep into the Dare to Lead skill set of trust. As I talk about in the episode, one of the worst things I could ever hear is, "I don't trust you".

Ouch, that's a gut punch!

It's interesting to consider how few people we truly trust, which often comes from not knowing what actually creates and breaks trust.

I get into the heart of the matter: trust is not inherent — it's earned. Leaders, politicians, teachers, CEOs, and even ourselves can be delusional in assuming people should trust us without demonstrating trustworthiness.

When trust is low, our stress skyrockets, and we don't feel safe enough to be vulnerable, take risks, or be creative. We even stop trusting ourselves if we realize we've trusted the wrong people.

The good news? We can learn how trust is built and broken. I introduce the seven elements of trust using the acronym BRAVING:

• B - Boundaries

• R - Reliability

• A - Accountability

• V - The Vault

• I - Integrity

• N - Non-judgment

• G - Generosity

We also discuss how to rebuild trust after it's broken, which always starts with recognizing the mistake, being accountable, and making amends. This is how we can turn hurt into a deeper connection. This can really help you build lasting relationships.

In this episode, discover:

• Trust is not a given and is achieved in small ways that leave a lasting impact.

• The seven elements of trust using the acronym BRAVING: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, and Generosity.

• People will respect you more when you're clear and kind about your boundaries rather than being a people-pleaser.

• Reliability issues often stem from underestimating how much time things take or saying "yes" when you actually mean no.

• Nothing erodes culture faster than seeing people get away with things without accountability.

• Trust is built gradually: start with a little trust, then a little vulnerability, and increase both over time.

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Trust Topic Introduction

00:55 Why Trust Feels Risky

02:35 Trust Must Be Earned

04:09 Low Trust and Its Costs

05:38 Trust Breaks and Repairs

08:04 BRAVING Framework Overview

08:15 B- Boundaries Build Trust

12:46 R- Reliability Do What You Say

14:58 A- Accountability and Culture

15:52 V- The Vault No Gossip

17:37 I- Integrity and N- Nonjudgment

20:42 G- Generosity and Slow Trust

24:03 Self Trust and Red Flags

28:31 Wrap Up

Links from today's episode:

• Dare to Lead Workshop

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