263. "I can barely open a dating app" Live Coaching Session (and a concrete plan for dating with anxiety)

263. "I can barely open a dating app" Live Coaching Session (and a concrete plan for dating with anxiety)

If you've ever opened a dating app and immediately wanted to throw your phone across the room — this one's for you.

In episode 263 of the Feminist Dating Show, I'm coaching Kayla live. This episode is for you if you relate to any of this:

  • You open a dating app and immediately spiral into, "What if they make me uncomfortable?" or "what if I say something stupid?"
  • You avoid swiping because judging people by their photos makes you feel like a bad person
  • You watch your friends get matches and wonder what you're doing wrong
  • You feel like a late bloomer, a re-entry dater, or just behind
  • Deep down, you're afraid the real problem is that you're just not lovable...

In this episode, I help Kayla name what's underneath her dating avoidance. We name what makes dating apps so dang difficult on our brains/bodies/nervous systems (they are such a flawed tool!). AND we build a simple "if this, then that" plan for dating that soothes her anxiety. In this episode, you'll learn to swipe without abandoning yourself, without judging yourself for your attraction preferences, or without lowering your standards.

Work with Lily:

Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please

Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen

Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen

Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen

Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

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285. How to date men when you hate men

285. How to date men when you hate men

How do you date men when you hate men? It can be a tough question, especially if you've never seen that what you want and who you want exists. Both/and in this episode, I'm your feminist dating coac...

6 Okt 10min

284. Make dating apps optional: A roadmap to attract the right relationship IRL

284. Make dating apps optional: A roadmap to attract the right relationship IRL

You don't have to be on dating apps to be "trying" in your dating life. This episode gives you the alternative strategy that has worked for hundreds of my clients (and worked for me to meet my husband...

29 Sep 24min

283. My story: from people pleasing and settling in dating, to attracting more as the main character (and how you can, too)

283. My story: from people pleasing and settling in dating, to attracting more as the main character (and how you can, too)

In episode 283, I'm getting personal about how people pleasing made me settle in dating, friendship, and work, how it led to panic attacks on my lunch break, and the three-step formula I used to quit,...

22 Sep 31min

282. "It's scary to want things." How to stop people pleasing and attract what you actually want, with my client Jackie

282. "It's scary to want things." How to stop people pleasing and attract what you actually want, with my client Jackie

Jackie was burnt out to a crisp. She was in a job she felt trapped in, because the story was that she had to be of service no matter how she felt. She had taken a sabbatical that was supposed to be tw...

15 Sep 54min

281. When is the right time to have sex? (and why you keep asking everyone but yourself)

281. When is the right time to have sex? (and why you keep asking everyone but yourself)

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So when you're stressed about the question "when is the right time to have sex??" and outsource your answer to another dating expert or another ...

8 Sep 26min

280. The Sneaky Ways You're People Pleasing (and How to Stop)

280. The Sneaky Ways You're People Pleasing (and How to Stop)

The good, reliable, everyone-comes-to-me best friend. You've been praised for that role your whole life. What if it's the reason you can't get yourself to shoot your shot, ask for more, or take up spa...

1 Sep 26min

279. Decide You're the One: How to Get Over the Fear That You're Not Enough

279. Decide You're the One: How to Get Over the Fear That You're Not Enough

You've been waiting to feel ready. Ready enough to launch the thing, shoot your shot, ask for the promotion you've been researching and figuring out the pitch for for months. Here's the hot take: you'...

25 Aug 30min

278. Stop Demoting Yourself to the "Best Friend" Role

278. Stop Demoting Yourself to the "Best Friend" Role

Here are 3 signs you're demoting yourself to the "best friend" role in love, friendship, and work... You're the designated listener in your friendships, always the one reaching out first, making the p...

18 Aug 16min

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