Q&A: Is letting my anxious child sleep in my bed helping or making their anxiety worse?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Whether letting your anxious child sleep in your bed reinforces anxiety or supports emotional security.
• The difference between attachment needs and anxiety accommodations.
• Why distress tolerance and secure attachment are not competing goals.
• How SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) approaches sleep struggles.
• What it actually means to "stop an accommodation" — and why sleep isn't always the first place to start.
• How to know if your child can't sleep alone or simply prefers not to.
• Why bedtime feels so loaded for parents and how to zoom out and look at the bigger picture.
• The research on attachment (including why you don't have to get it right 100% of the time).
• How to reduce anxiety without damaging your relationship with your child.

If your child struggles with separation anxiety at night, frequently climbs into your bed, or says he's too scared to sleep alone, this episode will help you step back from the all-or-nothing messaging and make a thoughtful, individualized decision that fits your family.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

😴 Struggling with toddler bedtime battles? Download my ✨FREE✨ Toddler Sleep Guide with 7 concrete strategies backed by peer-reviewed research and anecdotally tested in my own practice, that you can implement with your children today to turn your bedtime struggles into solutions.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with practical solutions for getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode to help you understand the basics of attachment theory and fostering your child's secure attachment bond

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about toddler sleep strategies

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!