50. Stef: Permission to exist

50. Stef: Permission to exist

What does it cost a person to spend decades not being allowed to exist as themselves?

In this episode of 34o – The Intimacy Podcast, Henrik sits down with Stef, host of Together Moving Forward, to explore what it means to live in constant vigilance — and what it takes to come back from it.

From an early age, Stef learned to adapt.
To monitor his posture, his voice, his presence.
Not as a choice. But as survival.

Growing up outside what was considered “normal”, he faced daily bullying, isolation, and years of hiding. Over time, that vigilance moved from the mind into the body — shaping his health, his identity and his relationship to himself.

This is a conversation about:

• The cost of growing up feeling different
• How shame and chronic stress live in the body
• Self-harm, EMDR and the long road back to safety
• The difference between confidence and permission
• What happens to intimacy when we stop editing ourselves

Today, Stef is back on the ice in his late fifties — not to perform, but to inhabit himself.

His story is queer in context.
But what he describes is deeply human.

Because at the core of it all lies a simple shift:

From performing who you are…
to allowing yourself to exist.


Redefining love, trust & how we connect

Avsnitt(52)

49. The Desire–Intimacy Paradox: Why Love Doesn’t Always Sustain Desire

49. The Desire–Intimacy Paradox: Why Love Doesn’t Always Sustain Desire

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48. Beyond Polarization Part 2: Masculine, Feminine & Integration

48. Beyond Polarization Part 2: Masculine, Feminine & Integration

The question isn’t which side wins.The question is whether we can learn to integrate.In this episode of 34o, we explore how masculine and feminine dynamics appear not only in relationships, but in cul...

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47. Beyond Polarization Part 1: The Nervous System of Modern Society

47. Beyond Polarization Part 1: The Nervous System of Modern Society

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46. Lauren Brim – The Embodiment Gap

46. Lauren Brim – The Embodiment Gap

There is more information about sex today than ever before.Courses. Techniques. Tutorials. Books. Platforms.And yet… intimacy still feels fragile for many.So what is missing?In this episode of 34o, I’...

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45. A place to land: Relationships are not here to fix you

45. A place to land: Relationships are not here to fix you

Do you believe a relationship is here to fix you — or your partner?What if it’s neither?What if a relationship is not a solution to loneliness, wounds, or unmet needs, but a place where two people mee...

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44. The Space Between Us: The Moment Where Intimacy Begins

44. The Space Between Us: The Moment Where Intimacy Begins

In this episode we explore something subtle but powerful: the space between spaces, the moment where real connection becomes possible.When was the last time you truly met another human being?Not throu...

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43. Healing Self-Doubt: The voice in our head is not who we are

43. Healing Self-Doubt: The voice in our head is not who we are

“Self-love is the opposite of self-doubt. When we heal, we heal not only for ourselves, but for our ancestors and for our children.”Self-doubt rarely screams.It whispers.You’re not good enough.You’ll ...

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