Episode 31 - Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me ft. Hannah Fan

Almost everyone grew up believing that if you made good grades, get into a good school, and get a good job, then you'd finally be considered successful. Then why are so many "successful" people anxious and depressed?

What happens when "success" becomes your identity and your worth is tied to constant performance?

In this episode of Back At It, David sits down with Hannah Fan, author of "Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me", to have a conversation on identity, subconscious beliefs, and the emotional toll of constantly trying to be “enough.”

What is the emotional cost of high achievement, immigrant parental pressure, and identity built on productivity?

Hannah shares the pivotal moments that led her to examine her subconscious beliefs around fear, self-worth, and emotional survival and how years of suppressing her inner world shaped her anxiety, burnout, and sense of disconnection.

This episode is for anyone feeling stuck in survival mode and looking for a healthier, more sustainable way to live and succeed.

You can order her book Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me through this link: https://a.co/d/dasnwgr

TIMESTAMPS:

(00:00): Intro

(00:41): Hannah's upbringing

(03:56): Being raised in a gender-based household, having alot of responsibilities as a woman

(06:48): Being ingrained with the mindset to always do more

(09:08): Self confidence vs. Self worth

(12:18): Realizations in therapy that she's been bottling up her feelings her entire life

(15:43): Realizing her toxicity through dating, leading to her resolve to find out who she is

(18:13): Emphasizing the load women have to carry from the past to present

(22:12): Using her book 'Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me' as a platform for others to process their emotions

(24:19): How many people build their identities on what they do, not who they are

(28:24): How to start conversations with your parents about having a healthy relationship with them

(31:31): Leading by example

(32:44): Meeting her husband at the perfect time

(34:34): Practicing boundaries while being in community with people

(39:05): Advice for avoidant people to be a good communicator

(42:42): A step one for people to get in a restful mindset amidst a heightened state

(46:29): The importance of nature in our physical bodies

(48:37): How movement helps us get out in a mental and physical rut

(52:58): Her high school friends being a big foundation in her life

(58:46): The main takeaway Hannah hopes everyone would receive from her hook

(1:02:30): How she views her release of 'Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me' as a new beginning for her

(1:04:29): Reassuring herself she is enough