Why Affairs Happen: Core Wounds, Self-Worth & the Psychology of Infidelity with Christina Ketchen

Why do people have affairs — even good people in relationships that look fine from the outside? And what happens to everyone involved when infidelity blows a life apart?

In this episode of The Scarlet Edit, I sit down with relationship and self-love coach Christina Ketchen for an honest, nuanced conversation about infidelity — what drives it, what it reveals about us, and how it changes everyone it touches.

We unpack how core wounds — our earliest needs to be seen, heard, loved, and safe — lead us to repeat familiar emotional patterns in relationships. Christina has coached hundreds of people through divorce and betrayal, and I reflect on my own experience as the other woman and what that affair taught me about self-worth, shame, and what I actually needed from love.

We explore:

• Why most affairs don't begin with bad intentions — and what's really driving the infidelity underneath
• The three roles in every affair — the one who cheated, the one who was cheated on, and the other woman — and how each carries their own grief
• How shame after infidelity and self-forgiveness are more connected than most people realize
• What limerence is, why affair relationships feel so intoxicating, and how to tell the difference between limerence and real love
• The difference between setting boundaries in relationships and actually enforcing them
• Why some of us are more comfortable in sadness and chaos than in healthy love — and what that says about our core wounds
• Reclaiming your self-worth after an affair no matter what role you played

This conversation is about compassion, not judgment. Whether you've had an affair, been cheated on, or been the other woman — your grief is real and your healing matters.

If this episode resonates:

Listen next:

• I Had to Walk Away: Ending a Long-Term Affair
• I Had an Affair: How it Feels to Tell the World You Were the Other Woman
• The Truth About Affairs: Sexless Marriages, Emotional Validation, and Modern Love

Guest: Christina Ketchen — Relationship and Self-Love Coach

New episodes every Thursday.

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