Ayahuasca, relationships, addiction and control with Jacquie Wortley

In this episode of the Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ sits down with Jacquie Wortley, a design leader, executive coach, and operations consultant who specializes in the intersection of technology, leadership, and mental health. Jacquie originally came to Lawayra in 2023 for what was supposed to be a simple weekend stay. Instead, she stayed for 10 days, sat with the medicine six times, and completely catalyzed her path away from emotional suppression, toxic relationship cycles, and excessive substance use.

Jacquie returns to share how her integration has evolved over the years, the profound lessons she learned from navigating a romantic relationship post-ceremony in July 2025, and how she is redefining corporate culture by introducing radical authenticity and soft skills to modern business environments.

Key Discussion Points

• 03:15 – The Runaway Nomad: Jacquie shares her journey from Vancouver to Toronto, building a successful tech career while using geographical changes and excessive partying to run from family turbulence and emotional pain.

• 07:45 – Sending a Scout: How testing the waters by sending a close friend to Lawayra first eventually led Jacquie to book her own transformative, 10-day marathon with the medicine.

• 11:20 – Shift in Substances: Outgrowing the "excessive user" label, eliminating stimulant drugs entirely, and shifting her relationship with alcohol away from a coping mechanism.

• 16:40 – Don't Wake a Sleeping Baby: Jacquie opens up about her past mistake of trying to force psychedelic healing onto her previous partner before he was ready, and what it taught her about patience, humility, and unconditional love.

• 23:15 – The Illusion of Being "Chill": A deep look into the paradox of control issues, why the people who need to surrender the most fight the medicine the hardest, and Sam's story of a breakthrough moment over a mattress arrangement.

• 29:10 – The Conscious Operator: Stepping away from the traditional corporate "COO" mask to focus on deep inner self-awareness as the ultimate foundation for managing people and business logistics.

• 35:00 – Radical Responsibility at Work: How leaders can handle difficult interpersonal dynamics with transparency, drop the professional facade, and own their emotional capacity with their teams.

• 41:30 – Brainstorming the Entrepreneur Mastermind: Sam and Jacquie dive into a spontaneous idea to co-create a specialized Lawayra retreat tailored specifically for business owners, founders, and managers to combine ceremony with peer masterminds.

• 46:15 – Unmasking Safely: How to navigate corporate vulnerability, identifying who you can safely open up to at work, and introducing feminine leadership into masculine environments.

The Mechanics of Control and Surrender

A central theme of Jacquie and Sam's dialogue centers around how trauma survivors often use hyper-vigilance and control as a shield. Ayahuasca systematically deconstructs this defense mechanism, teaching that true surrender is an internal energetic release rather than an intellectual concept. As Jacquie notes, the medicine teaches you in the most frustrating way that head-in-the-bucket submission is often required before you can truly connect.

The Reality of Relational Integration

Jacquie reflects deeply on her experience dating her partner again after his first retreat in July 2025. She points out a crucial lesson for anyone navigating relationships post-ceremony:

"The ceremonies are simply just a vision of what could be. But it's our integration that makes that vision into reality. Integration happens through conscious choice making and behavioral changes in our day-to-day life."

Expecting a first-time sitter to integrate at the exact pace of a seasoned practitioner is a form of projection. True unconditional love means releasing control and allowing others to be exactly who they are on their own path.

Connect with Jacquie Wortley:

• LinkedIn: Jacquie Wortley

• Instagram: @jacquiewortley

Join the Conscious Leader Movement: If the idea of an exclusive mastermind retreat for entrepreneurs, managers, and business operators resonates with you, let us know! Drop a comment on Spotify, YouTube, or reach out directly via Instagram to Sam or Jacquie.

To book a traditional retreat focused on deep inner awareness, visit: ayahuascaincolombia.com

If you appreciated this raw look into integration and leadership, please rate the show 5 stars!