Revisited: Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely with Author Fredrik Backman

Hello from Team Simon! We're taking a quick break this week and will be back with brand-new episodes of A Bit of Optimism next Tuesday. Until then, we're revisiting one of our favorite episodes — when bestselling novelist Fredrik Backman joined the show to talk about the thing he's spent his whole career writing about: the quiet, radical power of showing up for people. And Fredrik says great friendships aren't found by luck. They're built deliberately, repeatedly, and, sometimes, inconveniently by people who choose to do the work. Fredrik is the internationally bestselling author of A Man Called Ove (adapted into the film A Man Called Otto), Anxious People, and the Beartown series. His book, My Friends, is a love letter to the relationships that quietly shape who we become. In this conversation, Fredrik opens up about his best friend of over 30 years and what 30 years of real friendship actually requires. His words will have you thinking hard about the friends you might be taking for granted. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why great friendship is a skill + what the work actually looks like ➡️ The concept of your "people” vs. “humans" ➡️ Why your friends are your best editors ➡️ The friendship rule that changed how Fredrik's entire friend group thought about relationships ➡️ The unexpected value of quantity of time vs. quality of time ➡️ How to be genuinely happy for someone else ➡️ The difference between healthy self-deprecation and low self-esteem ➡️ Why the work in a relationship is never solely on the relationship — it's always on you A great relationship isn't a stroke of luck. It's a choice you make every day, in small ways, often when it's inconvenient. This conversation is a reminder of why it's worth it. This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + To buy Fredrik’s book, My Friends, visit: https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Fredrik-Backman/411545926 + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 We Don't Need Algorithms to Find Our People 00:02:45 Fredrik's Viral Speech: Fueled by Pure Panic 00:05:55 The Power of Authenticity: Why Imperfection Resonates 00:07:29 Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely 00:08:56 The Friend Who Taught Him Everything 00:15:43 Quality Time vs Quantity Time: The ROI of Presence 00:17:53 The "I Want To," Not "I Have To" Philosophy 00:20:55 Your Friends Are Your Best Editors 00:13:23 Writing as Self-Editing 00:15:06 Learning to Be Happy for Others 00:22:41 The Gift of Time: Showing Up When It Matters 00:23:56 Be A Great Friend, Get Great Friends 00:28:55 The Work Is On You: Relationships and Self-Growth 00:36:23 Algorithms Would Never Match Us: The Value of Difference 00:34:21 Trying Is Everything 00:35:55 People vs Humans 00:37:18 Self-Deprecation vs Low Self-Esteem 00:39:22 The Jantelagen: Swedish Humility Law 00:45:26 The Fear of Disappointing People 00:48:00 Expectations vs Reality: Letting Go of Fantasy 00:49:00 Understanding Bullies: Finding What We Have in Common 00:51:21 Fighting Narcissism: Surrounding Yourself With Better People 00:52:08 Being Comfortable Not Knowing: The Gateway to Learning 00:55:28 The World's Best Cardamom Bun Debate + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek