Ellie Fitzgerald on Child-Free by Choice, Circumstance, or Something in Between

Almost two years on, and this conversation goes even deeper.

Ellie Fitzgerald was the very first guest on The Cyclist, and she's back. In this raw and honest catch-up, Jess and Ellie revisit everything that has unfolded since Ellie shared her ruptured ectopic pregnancy story, nearly two years ago now. What started as a check-in becomes one of the most vulnerable conversations we've had on this podcast.

Ellie opens up about where she and her partner are at today, a place she describes as possibly child-free, though she's still unpacking whether that's a decision from the heart or a response to trauma. She talks honestly about the grief that doesn't follow a timeline, the moments that still catch her off guard, and what it's like to navigate those questions from family and friends when you haven't figured out the answers yourself.

She also shares the deeply personal way she holds Binki in her memory, something we've never heard before, and what the approaching two-year due date brings up for her each year.

The conversation moves through therapy, which Ellie is only just beginning, and why she's waited this long. She reflects on the unexpected ways the ectopic pregnancy has changed her body, her cycle, her pain, and her hormones, and gets honest about her relationship with her body, which she describes as the hardest it's ever been. From blaming her body through three years of infertility, to losing Binki, to navigating weight changes and self-worth, this is a conversation about what it really looks like to carry grief in your body, not just your mind.

Ellie also shares why she recently made the decision to rename her platform from Loving Ellie's Belly to simply Ellie Fitzgerald, and what that change meant for her sense of identity.

This one is tender, funny, deeply real, and a reminder that grief has no deadline.

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Website: wearethecyclist.com

Hit play. And if you haven't heard Ellie's first episode, start there: Endo, Infertility & Losing Baby Binkie with Ellie Fitzgerald.

Here’s the link on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3wy5McIgaGR4Lyb3XQvz9Q