What It Actually Feels Like to Leave a Marriage When You Have Kids - Uncut with Tara Pavlovic

Today’s episode is with one of our very favourite Bach alums Tara Pavlovic. Tara was on Laura's season of The Bachelor back in 2017, and despite the slightly unusual premise of competing for the same man, she's one of the people Laura has genuinely stayed close with ever since.

Tara is currently going through a separation. Not in the past tense, not with the benefit of two years of hindsight. She’s currently in the thick of it, while co-parenting two young kids and figuring out what life looks like on the other side. And she wanted to come and talk about it, because she knows there are women out there sitting exactly where she was sitting a few months ago, wondering if it's okay to make the decision to leave.

We chat:

• The post-Bachelor world: fake attention, disingenuous people, and why it made trusting anyone so hard
• Years of couples counselling, trying everything, and the moment the penny finally dropped
• What it physically felt like in her body when the relationship was no longer working
• Why "staying for the kids" isn't always the best thing
• Separation and equal parenting
• The judgment that comes when you're the one who leaves
• Discovering she can kill spiders, mow lawns, and do everything she thought she needed someone else for
• "Do I believe in love anymore? Absolutely not" and what she actually means
• Life now: calm, present, peaceful, and genuinely happy

Tara also teases an upcoming podcast she's launching with Bachelor alum David Lloyd! Watch this space.

You can follow Tara on Instagram

Timestamps

• 0:00 — Introducing our sister wife: Tara Pavlovic
• 9:45 — Tara's love of kids, starting in childcare at 18, and becoming a mum
• 11:10 — What the post-Bachelor world was really like
• 16:00 — Dating again after BiP and why she went back to someone she already knew and trusted
• 17:15 — Getting into the separation: years of trying, couples counselling, and going quiet
• 19:45 — The cruise that changed everything — feeling peace for the first time in years
• 22:20 — How couples counselling helped, and when the counsellor finally said "staying for the kids isn't enough"
• 24:55 — Why staying together isn't always the answer for kids
• 28:25 — Did she feel guilty? Honestly, no — here's why
• 29:00 — The mental load she didn't know she was carrying
• 33:15 — Navigating what to share (and not share) on social media during a separation
• 37:30 — The surprising things: friendships shifting, being seen as the one who "broke the family"
• 38:30 — All the things she's discovered she can do by herself: spiders, lawns, everything
• 47:00 — Dating with kids: what she would and wouldn't introduce into her children's lives
• 46:45 — "I'm living the fairytale right now"

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Hosted by Laura Byrne & Keeshia Pettit

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley

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