I Set a Date to End My Life, Left Letters for My Wife & Kids — Then a Police Officer Put Her Arms Around Me and Everything Changed

Episode 63 | Mikey Banks — From Cocaine Debt, Violence & Planning His Own Death to 4 Years Clean

⚠️ Content warning: This episode contains discussion of addiction, violence, debt and suicide.

In this searingly honest and deeply moving episode, Jimmy sits down with Mikey Banks — Aberdeen joiner turned recovery advocate and founder of the Better Together Ball — whose story goes further into the darkness than almost any guest the podcast has featured.

Mikey grew up on a council estate in Aberdeen, loved and cared for by his parents, causing mischief, playing out late, and finding alcohol at 12 or 13 — not because he loved it at first, but because he needed to belong. By the time he started his joinery apprenticeship at 16 he was drinking with men twice his age. Then cocaine arrived, and everything changed. Unlike alcohol, the first line of coke told him: this is it.

Through his early 20s, Mikey held it together. Working, paying bills, holidays, cars — the facade of a functioning life. But the cocaine use grew, the money ran out, and his bright idea to start dealing to fund his habit quickly spiralled into thousands of pounds of debt to dangerous people. By 26 the wheels had come off completely. He was using several grams a day, stealing from everyone he loved including his father’s treasured £9,000 watch which he sold for £400, manipulating his parents, lying to his wife, and driving to his dealer’s house before work each morning just to be able to function.

The violence came next. Drug dealers gave him a choice: take a beating or watch them do his house. He took the beating. Four men stamped on his head, kicked out five of his teeth, spat on him and laughed. His first thought when it was over? I need to get drugs. He walked to a shop, cleaned his face, and went to score.

By March 2022, aged 32, Mikey had had enough. He wrote individual letters to his wife, his children, and his parents, left them neatly on the bedside table, left his phone behind, and walked out with a pocket full of drugs and a pocket full of drink — heading for a bridge over the River Don. Nineteen hours later, five minutes from the bridge, police found him. A female officer put her arms around him and said thank God we found you. It was the first act of pure kindness he’d felt in years. That moment cracked something open.

Recovery wasn’t linear. Relapses at 11 days, then 54 days. But on 15 June 2022, he used for the last time. Nearly four years later, Mikey is clean, sober, rebuilding his marriage, present for his three children — and carrying the ashes of his best friend Blaine, who died by suicide 54 days into his own recovery, around his neck as a daily reminder of why he does what he does.

Now building the I Am Movement and organising the Better Together Ball charity event for suicide prevention, Mikey is one of the most powerful voices in the recovery community — not because he has a certificate, but because he’s lived every word of it.

Find Mikey on Instagram at:

https://www.instagram.com/mikeybanksrr?igsh=cjdqbGVwcTY1YW0x

Mikey’s I AM movement:

https://ko-fi.com/s/08ce0f2ede?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAVERFWAQfukxleHRuA2

My Instagram is:

https://www.instagram.com/recovery_jimmy

And you can find all my other links at:

https://linktr.ee/jimmythistle

Buy me a coffee…

https://buymeacoffee.com/afterhourswithjimmyt

Alcohol Explained - William Porter

https://a.co/d/0854fIb6

This Naked Mind - Annie Grace

https://a.co/d/0gy6mT9Z

A Million Little Pieces - James Frey

https://a.co/d/0jdcIjGb

Donate:

https://motiv8.im/donate/

https://nacoa.org.uk/get-involved/donating/donate/

My Instagram is:

https://www.instagram.com/recovery_jimmy

And you can find all my other links at:

https://linktr.ee/jimmythistle

Buy me a coffee…

https://buymeacoffee.com/afterhourswithjimmyt

Alcohol Explained - William Porter

https://amzn.to/4uMmkyB

This Naked Mind - Annie Grace

https://amzn.to/4eC6L6z

A Million Little Pieces - James Frey

https://amzn.to/44jOV3i

Donate:

https://motiv8.im/donate/

https://nacoa.org.uk/get-involved/donating/donate/

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