How to Stop Dating the Wrong Person

How to Stop Dating the Wrong Person

Finding the right person is hard. Being attracted to the wrong one is just as common.

In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why some people find themselves stuck in the same dating patterns over and over again, pursuing partners who are unavailable, manipulative, emotionally destructive, or struggling with addiction. I explain why attraction can override good judgment, why certain personality types are especially alluring, and how to learn from past mistakes and create healthier patterns in love.

This episode focuses on choosing the right person in the first place. If you haven't yet listened to my episode, 3 Rules to Fall in Love and Stay in Love, I recommend it as a companion to this conversation. Together, they offer a roadmap for both finding love and building a lasting relationship.

Brought to you by:

LMNT—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at ⁠DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur⁠

Where to find Arthur Brooks:

• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠officehours@arthurbrooks.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(05:19) Why dating feels so difficult

(06:29) Dating Groundhog Day

(10:12) Attraction to unavailable people

(15:25) Substance abuse

(18:29) The Dark Triad

(20:56) How the Dark Triad reels you in

(25:52) Why we ignore red flags

(27:19) Dating strategy #1: Stop relying on others' judgment

(28:48) Dating strategy #2: Address your emophilia

(30:16) Dating strategy #3: Expand your time horizon

(32:10) Dating strategy #4: Don’t focus on looks and status

(33:21) Dating strategy #5: Look in the right place

(35:15) Dating strategy #6: Stop looking for your ex

(37:29) Dating strategy #7: Stop romanticizing doomed love

(39:00) Q&A: How to reconcile being on your phone to learn more

(40:15) Q&A: The value of fun leisure

Referenced:

• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com

• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership

• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter

• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale

• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur

• Nearly Half of U.S. Adults Say Dating Has Gotten Harder for Most People in the Last 10 Years: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years

• Groundhog Day: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107048

• Mate Choice Copying in Humans: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26181063/

• The ability to judge the romantic interest of others: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19076319

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Production and marketing by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://penname.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Det här avsnittet är hämtat från ett öppet RSS-flöde och publiceras inte av Podme. Det kan innehålla reklam.

Avsnitt(57)

5 Ways to Find Your Faith

5 Ways to Find Your Faith

Why do so many people drift from faith in early adulthood, only to feel drawn back to it later in life? In this episode of Office Hours, I explore the Hindu concept of Ashramas and the parallels with ...

31 Aug 50min

The Three Secrets to Raising Great Kids

The Three Secrets to Raising Great Kids

Being a parent is one of the most meaningful things you can do with your life, and one of the easiest things to worry about getting wrong. Most of us ultimately want the same things for our children: ...

24 Aug 45min

Success Secret: Finding People Who Disagree With You

Success Secret: Finding People Who Disagree With You

Most of us prefer spending time with people who are like us. They think like us, share our values, and make us feel comfortable. But while similarity may be easy, it isn't always what helps us grow.In...

17 Aug 48min

 One Year of Office Hours: Lessons on Love and Friendship

One Year of Office Hours: Lessons on Love and Friendship

In this special one-year anniversary episode of Office Hours, I'm joined by six young adults to discuss the modern crisis of meaning and why so many people feel disconnected despite having more ways t...

10 Aug 1h 18min

Why You Should Let People Help You More

Why You Should Let People Help You More

We usually think generosity means helping other people. But what if accepting help is generous, too?In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why letting others help us can be a gift. We’ll look at t...

3 Aug 37min

The Power of Sunlight: Protocols for Better Mood, Sleep & Happiness

The Power of Sunlight: Protocols for Better Mood, Sleep & Happiness

It's easy to assume that we'd be happier if we lived somewhere with more sunshine. But how much does sunlight actually matter?In this episode of Office Hours, I examine what the research says about th...

27 Juli 45min

How Lying Sabotages Your Happiness

How Lying Sabotages Your Happiness

Most people don't start with huge lies. They start with little white lies meant to avoid conflict, spare someone's feelings, or make life a little easier. But what if those small compromises are quiet...

20 Juli 49min

Use Music to Change Your Brain and Get Happier

Use Music to Change Your Brain and Get Happier

There's a reason music has mattered to people for thousands of years. Across cultures and generations, we’ve treated it as more than entertainment—as a kind of language that can express what words can...

13 Juli 43min

Populärt inom Hälsa

somna-med-henrik
rss-jossan-nina
rss-bara-en-till-om-beroende-medberoende
bullfika
inga-beiga-morsor
rss-vuxna-pa-latsas
sexnoveller-deluxe
angestpodden
rss-viktmedicinpodden
johannes-hansen-podcast
not-fanny-anymore
rss-hos-psykologen
sa-in-i-sjalen
sova-med-dan-horning
rss-basta-livet
tyngre-traningssnack
halsoveckan-by-tyngre
rss-traningsklubben
medicinvetarna
prestera-mera-by-umara