How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life

How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life

What actually separates good sex from great sex? Spoiler: it's not the positions, the toys, or the techniques.

In this episode, sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes and Jay-Jay Feeney get into the real foundations of hot sex, and it turns out most of us have been thinking about it completely wrong. Mel introduces her erotic mind mapping method, breaks down the three types of desire (and why most women experience desire very differently to men), and explains why safety, connection, and communication are the actual ingredients for the best sex of your life.

Plus: JJ gets her first Pleasure Practice assignment live on air, and it gets surprisingly vulnerable.

This is sex education for real humans in real relationships. No pressure. No porn scripts. Just honest conversation.


For adults 18+. Headphones recommended.

🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one!



This podcast was produced at PodLab Studios, Auckland https://www.podlab.co.nz/

Bedding by Dehei https://dehei.co/


Mel's Sex Menu: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ELEGkI8NyWl2EAA9tYjlZ2oHs-q8ryns/view

Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex

INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast

FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast

TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@how.to.have.sex.p

YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast

EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com


HOSTS:

Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality

Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney


Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach

www.melissavranjes.com

Instagram: @melissavranjes


Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.

Pick up the latest issue to read it.


We launched our podcast on 25 March 2026 and had a party to celebrate.

We would like to thank our incredible Day One supporters who kindly donated toward our party, and goodie bags.


Mad Dog Backdrops https://maddogbackdrops.co.nz/

Carmen Bird Photography https://www.carmenbirdphotography.co.nz/

Oh Cleoh Condoms https://www.ohcleoh.com/

Rumer Lube https://byrumer.co.nz/

Girls Get Off https://girlsgetoff.com/

Moodi Hormone Gummies https://www.moodiblends.com/

Cursive Craft https://cursivecraft.co.nz/

Eve Wellness https://evewellness.com/

XO Gifts https://xogifts.co.nz/

Framingham Wines https://framingham.co.nz/

Zeffer Cider & Alcoholic drinks https://zeffer.co.nz/

Woman’s Day Magazine https://www.nowtolove.co.nz/





Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Avsnitt(24)

How To Have Powerful, Internal Orgasms

How To Have Powerful, Internal Orgasms

Think you've never had an internal orgasm... or wondering if you're even capable of one? This week Jay-Jay and Mel are getting very hands-on (literally) with everything you need to know about internal...

18 Aug 45min

How To Come Back To Sex After a Dry Spell

How To Come Back To Sex After a Dry Spell

Been a while? No judgment here. Dust off the cobwebs, we've got you. This week Jay-Jay and Mel are talking dry spells: what actually counts as one, why they happen even in happy relationships, and how...

11 Aug 51min

How to Get Really Turned On

How to Get Really Turned On

Ever been genuinely attracted to someone and still felt... nothing? Or found a candle way more arousing than anything actually sexual? This week Jay-Jay and Mel dig into the real psychology of arousal...

3 Aug 47min

How To Get Out Of Your Head During Sex

How To Get Out Of Your Head During Sex

Ever been fully naked, fully touched, and but still mentally reviewing the grocery list? Welcome to the club. This week Jay-Jay and Mel unpack why so many of us check out during sex, even when everyth...

28 Juli 47min

How To Stop Faking It and Start Being Honest In Bed

How To Stop Faking It and Start Being Honest In Bed

Confession time: we've both faked it. 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️This week Jay-Jay and Mel get real about faking it, and we're not just talking about orgasms. We're talking about every quiet way we abandon ourselves i...

21 Juli 36min

How To Get Over Your Body and Sex Insecurities

How To Get Over Your Body and Sex Insecurities

This week Jay-Jay & Mel get vulnerable, and a little unhinged, talking about body confidence and sex insecurities. Jay-Jay finally admits the one insecurity she's never been able to shake. Mel spills ...

14 Juli 54min

 How To Navigate Love, Judgment and an Age Gap: Jay-Jay & Minou

How To Navigate Love, Judgment and an Age Gap: Jay-Jay & Minou

She met him on Facebook. He lived on the other side of the world. She didn't tell a soul for two years.This week Mel flips the script and puts Jay-Jay in the hot seat. We're talking about Jay-Jay's re...

7 Juli 44min

How To Get Better at Foreplay

How To Get Better at Foreplay

Foreplay. Everyone's heard of it. Not everyone's doing it right.In this episode, Jay-Jay and Mel break down what foreplay actually is (spoiler: not just a quick neck kiss and a rub before getting to t...

30 Juni 46min

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