#16 How To Deal With the Adolescent Rollercoaster | With Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett

How to Deal with Raising Tweens & Teens with Dr. Cara Natterson & Vanessa Kroll BennettEpisode Summary

If you're a parent staring down the tunnel of adolescence and feeling the dread building — this episode is your permission slip to exhale. Eli sits down with Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett of Less Awkward for a warm, wildly informative, and surprisingly funny conversation about what puberty actually is, why it's happening earlier than ever, and how to be the parent your tween or teen genuinely needs — even when they're slamming doors and rolling their eyes. Expect real science, real talk, and a boxing metaphor that will change how you show up for your kid.

Key Takeaways

• Adolescence is not something to survive — it's something to lean into. The mood swings, the push-back, the withdrawal: it's developmental, it's hormonal, and most importantly, it's not personal.
• Puberty is starting 2–3 years earlier than it did a generation ago. Average onset is now ages 8–9 for girls and 9–10 for boys. The first sign? According to pediatric endocrinologist Louise Greenspan: a slamming door.
• ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and socioeconomic stress accelerate puberty through chronic cortisol release — not race. Kids of color are often entering puberty earlier, and this intersects with data showing that adults tend to age children of color as older than they are, creating an unfair double burden.
• Sex hormones surge and drop every 6–12 hours — which is why your kid can seem perfectly reasonable at breakfast and completely dysregulated by dinner. It's not you, it's biology.
• Your job is to be the corner person, not get in the ring. Like a boxing coach, your role is to offer a place to rest, encouragement, and steady presence — not to fight their battles or fight them.
• Silence is not rejection. A teen who won't talk still wants you there. Try the car, the walk, the lights-out bedtime check-in — and if all else fails, just sit in silence. Stay.
• When you mess up (and you will), own it and repair. Research shows kids gain respect for parents who apologize and take do-overs. It also models exactly what we want them to do with their mistakes.
• Your attitude toward adolescence becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you dread it, they'll become dreadful. Studies show kids absorb the expectations adults project onto them.

About the GuestsDr. Cara Natterson

Dr. Cara Natterson is a pediatrician, speaker, educator, and one of the foremost voices on tween and teen health. She is the Founder and CEO of Less Awkward and the New York Times bestselling author of The Care and Keeping of You series with American Girl.

• 🌐 Website: lessawkward.com
• 📸 Instagram: @less.awkward
• 🐦 Twitter/X: @caranatterson
• 💼 LinkedIn: Cara Natterson
• 📺 YouTube: Less Awkward

Vanessa Kroll Bennett

Vanessa Kroll Bennett is a USA Today bestselling author and co-host of the This Is So Awkward podcast. As President of Content at Less Awkward, she helps adults navigate the challenges of raising tweens and teens with joy and humor.

• 🌐 Website: vanessakrollbennett.com
• 📸 Instagram: @vanessakrollbennett
• 🐦 Twitter/X: @vanessakbennett
• 💼 LinkedIn: Vanessa Kroll Bennett
• 📺 YouTube: Less Awkward

Resources Mentioned

• 📚 This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained by Dr. Cara Natterson & Vanessa Kroll Bennett — the book discussed throughout this episode (Amazon)
• 🏫 Less Awkward Parent Hub — the comprehensive parent resource platform with courses, community, and an AI puberty Q&A bot
• 🎙️ This Is So Awkward Podcast — Cara & Vanessa's own show on puberty and adolescence (Apple Podcasts)
• 🔬 Herman-Giddens et al., 1997 — Landmark Puberty Study (Pediatrics, 99(4):505–512) — the first large-scale study of 17,000 girls documenting earlier puberty onset, referenced in the episode
• 👩‍⚕️ Dr. Louise Greenspan — pediatric endocrinologist at UCSF, quoted as saying "the first sign of puberty is a slamming door"
• 🧪 The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Adolescent Social Expectations — research on how adult expectations shape teen outcomes (PMC/NCBI)
• 🩺 CDC: Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) — background resource on the ACE framework discussed in the episode

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