The Scarlet Edit: Infidelity, Divorce, Starting Over.25 Juni

Can You Stay Friends With Your Ex After an Affair?

Can you actually be friends with your ex? I dug into the research, including the four motivations people land on when they stay in each other's lives after a breakup and the data on who's most likely to do it. Then I went a few layers deeper than the typical conversation goes. Friends with your ex in general is one question. Friends with your ex after divorce is another. Friends with your ex after infidelity is harder. And if you were the other woman, that's a different conversation entirely.

I share my own examples on all of it. I'm still friends with my ex-husband a decade out. I also answer a listener question about did my ex married man and I speak after I ended it? I share the very specific moment, four months after I ended it, when I sent him a song from the bathtub. We reconnected for a few months and I haven't spoken to him since. The difference between those two stories isn't random. It comes down to one question. What are you keeping the friendship for, and where is your self-worth in the answer?

I also get into whether the betrayed spouse can ever be friends with the cheater, how the kids' ages change everything when you're co-parenting after infidelity, and what to ask yourself if you're stuck in the deciding phase. And if you've ever wondered whether the other woman gets to stay friends with him after it ends, I have a take on that you won't hear anywhere else.

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