Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal2 Juli

#166 Why Shame Is the Enemy of Accountability — And What to Do About It with Jacob Fletcher, CMCH, CSAT

One of the biggest obstacles to healing after betrayal isn't a lack of love — it's shame. When the person in recovery floods with shame, they lose the ability to truly listen, hold space, or take accountability. And without that, trust cannot rebuild.

In this episode, Hali sits down with Jacob Fletcher, a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT), to talk about what real relational healing requires — and why slowing down is often the fastest path forward.

Whether you're the partner trying to understand why accountability feels so inconsistent, or the person in recovery trying to figure out how to actually show up — this episode gives you a real, honest look at the inner work required on both sides.

Connect with Jacob Fletcher:

Jacob Fletcher is a licensed mental health counselor and the founder of Pure Wellness Counseling where he specializes in helping individuals navigate trauma, addiction, and personal growth. He is a CSAT therapist and uses various modalities to help his clients find healing. You can also connect with him for coaching at Choose Recovery Services.

Enjoyed This Episode?

If this conversation resonated with you, here are 3 ways you can support the show:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Leave a Review

💬 Join the Community

📲 Share This Episode

Connect With Me + Continue Your Healing

If today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:

Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.

Join me at a Retreat or Intensive

If you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.

The Rise and Renew Couples Retreat in Costa Rica, happens July 30 - August 3.

If you're ready for a deeper connection with your daughter(s), ⁠complete this interest list⁠ for more information about my upcoming retreat - Becoming Together: A Mother Daughter Retreat - hosted by myself and my two daughters in Sedona, Arizona on September 8 - 12th.

The⁠ ⁠⁠Courage to Thrive Betrayal Trauma Intensive⁠⁠⁠ takes place August 25-28 in Spanish Fork, Utah.

Email Hali⁠ to join the⁠⁠⁠ Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal⁠⁠⁠⁠, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth.

Free Resources & Downloads

Access free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal.

👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal

👉Your First Steps to Rising After Betrayal

Upcoming Course: Reclaiming You After Betrayal

If you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a course focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.

This course is ideal for those who want support without individual coaching and at a pace that honors their nervous system.

👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist!

Listen to My Other Podcast

If you are a betrayed partner, I also host a second podcast called Rooted & Rising Healing After Betrayal, created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma.

This show offers grounded, trauma-informed conversations, solo reflections, and tools to help you reconnect with yourself, reclaim your voice, and rise with clarity and strength.

👉 Rooted and Rising Healing After Betrayal

Join My Newsletter

Stay connected through my newsletter, where I share reflections, trauma-informed insights, and updates on upcoming courses, workshops, retreats, and live experiences.

👉⁠ ⁠Rooted and Rising Weekly⁠⁠

Connect With Me Between Episodes

Join me on social media for continued conversation, encouragement, and resources between podcast episodes.

👉 Instagram

👉 Facebook

👉 Website⁠

Det här avsnittet är hämtat från ett öppet RSS-flöde och publiceras inte av Podme. Det kan innehålla reklam.

Avsnitt(175)

#167 Masculine and Feminine: Why Getting the Balance Right in Your Relationship Matters with Tyler Patrick

There's a dynamic underneath a lot of disconnected relationships that almost nobody names — and when it collapses, it can quietly erode intimacy. In this episode, I'm joined by Tyler Patrick, Licensed...

9 Juli 42min

#165 The Groundhog Day of Disclosure: Why the Same Questions Keep Coming

After betrayal, one of the most exhausting patterns couples hit is what I call the Groundhog Day of disclosure: the betrayed partner asking the same questions again and again, while the partner who ca...

25 Juni 19min

#164 The Children in the Room: Navigating Divorce and Betrayal Without Breaking Your Kids with Katie Padilla, Certified Family Law Specialist

When a marriage is in crisis, the conversation almost always centers on the couple. But what about the children sitting in the middle of it?In this episode, certified family law specialist and founder...

18 Juni 40min

#163 Control Isn't Safety: Understanding the Parent-Child Dynamic After Betrayal

If you've been checking your partner's location for the fifth time in an hour - or waiting for your spouse to hand you a roadmap to your own recovery - this episode is for you.The parent-child dynamic...

11 Juni 21min

#162 When ADHD Meets Betrayal Trauma: Understanding Recovery for the Whole Family System with Monifa Ellis-Addie, LMFT, CSAT, CCSP and Morgan Ellsworth, LAMFT, CCSP

What happens when ADHD and betrayal trauma collide in the same family? This episode is one of the most important conversations we've had on the podcast — and it's one that doesn't get talked about eno...

4 Juni 40min

#161 Why Can’t We Connect Deeper? Exploring the Hidden Struggles of Connection After Betrayal

One of the most confusing parts of healing after betrayal is that couples can do “all the right things” and still feel emotionally disconnected.In this episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and...

28 Maj 22min

#160 When Your Body Decides the Relationship Is No Longer Safe" Understanding the Nervous System Trauma Loop in Betrayal Recovery

Have you ever wondered why you and your partner keep having the same painful conversations — even when you both want things to be different? The answer might be in what your body has decided about the...

21 Maj 22min