What Have I Done Wrong? Why Your Brain Jumps to Self-Blame | Blame Series – Part 1 ep 140

Do you immediately blame yourself when something goes wrong, even before you know the full story?

Jenny explores why so many of us automatically blame ourselves before we've even had time to understand what has actually happened in this episode of The Self-Belief Podcast.

She explains how our brains can quickly connect everyday situations to old experiences of blame, criticism, rejection or conflict, causing us to search for mistakes that may not even exist. Jenny also explores how trauma, ADHD and long-term survival mode can make this pattern even stronger.

You'll discover the difference between blame and responsibility, why internal safety matters, and how learning to pause before accepting blame can help rebuild self-belief and protect your emotional wellbeing.

If you've ever replayed conversations, over-explained yourself or carried responsibility that wasn't yours, this episode will help you separate facts from feelings and begin responding from what's actually true.

Key Takeaways:

• Why your brain automatically searches for your mistakes

• The difference between blame, responsibility and truth

• How trauma and ADHD can make blame feel overwhelming

• What internal safety really means

• How to separate facts from feelings

• Questions to ask before accepting blame

• Why taking responsibility doesn't mean attacking yourself

In this episode I will cover the following questions:

• Why do I always think everything is my fault?

• Why do I blame myself for everything?

• Why do I always ask what have I done wrong?

• Why do I assume people are angry with me?

• How do I stop blaming myself for everything?

• What is self-blame?

• What's the difference between blame and responsibility?

• Why do I feel guilty when I've done nothing wrong?

• Why do I overthink conversations after they happen?

• How does trauma affect self-blame?

• Why does ADHD make me feel like I'm always getting things wrong?

• What is internal safety in psychology?

• How do I stop assuming the worst about myself?

• How can I separate facts from feelings?

• How do I rebuild self-belief after years of criticism?

If you enjoyed this episode, you may also like Jenny's previous four-part series on judgement, where she explored why we fear being judged, how self-judgement develops, and how those patterns shape our confidence.

Listen to the Judgement Series here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/64rs54mfdFqX0oWF62d44J?si=mnFwfCW8SvC8Q_9oCTI9kA

💜 Something special is here!

If you’ve been noticing the same thoughts, reactions, or emotional patterns repeating in your life, Jenny’s free Continued Writing session may help you understand what’s happening underneath them.

During this live session, Jenny will guide you through a gentle continued writing exercise designed to help you uncover subconscious patterns, emotional responses, and automatic behaviours that are often difficult to see on your own. You don’t need any experience with continued writing, just a pen, paper, and some space to be honest with yourself.

The next webinar is on Tuesday, 14th July at 2 p.m. (UK time)

Register here!

If you can’t attend live, Jenny also shares continued writing prompts on her website to use in your own time: www.jennyfield.co.uk/product/continued-writing-freebie/

Connect with Jenny: Book a free call with Jenny

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Podcast Credits:

Podcast Management by Aisling, Certified Podcast Growth Coach, Podcast Success Hub

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Jingle by Carol Barwick: www.raise4all.com

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