Ep. 467: Sex, Birth & Postpartum: Reclaiming Desire Through Motherhood with Ashley Mariani

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe welcomes back perinatal therapist Ashley Mariani for a conversation that isn't happening nearly enough: the relationship between sexuality, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

So often, our culture either completely ignores sexuality in motherhood or hypersexualizes birth in ways that don't actually serve women. HeHe and Ashley explore what it looks like to honor your sexuality as a natural, embodied part of pregnancy, labor, birth, and beyond, and why that relationship with yourself doesn't simply disappear once your baby arrives.

Together, they dive into the realities of rebuilding intimacy after birth, navigating breastfeeding, co-sleeping, body changes, exhaustion, and the identity shifts that come with becoming parents. They also unpack how these experiences impact relationships, why desire often changes postpartum, and how couples can reconnect without shame, pressure, or unrealistic expectations.

Whether you're pregnant, newly postpartum, or years into parenthood, this conversation offers a compassionate, honest look at one of the most overlooked parts of the motherhood journey and reminds you that your identity, your relationship, and your sexuality all deserve care, too.

00:54 Content Warning and Space

03:08 Guest and Episode Focus

06:42 Sex Taboo and Real Support

09:21 Sex and Birth Connection

12:23 Purity Culture Origins

14:44 Porn Culture and Pregnancy

21:37 Postpartum Porn and Healing

34:37 Sex Positive Parenting

35:51 Co Sleeping and Desire

39:52 Spontaneous Intimacy Ideas

41:57 Free Birth Advocacy Class

43:41 Postpartum Desire Differences

46:32 Playful Safe Flirting

49:29 Two Year Desire Timeline

52:21 When Therapy Is Refused

56:29 Family Origins And Shame

01:00:46 Misogyny Porn And Incel Culture

01:05:16 Relearning Embodiment Postpartum

01:10:50 Breaking Cycles With Communication

01:12:32 Vaginal Mapping And Tiny Bites

01:17:28 Wrap Up Resources And Farewell

Guest Bio:

Ashley Mariani, a Registered Social Worker, mom, wife, and the owner of Mind Online Therapy. She’s been practicing virtually since 2018—long before it was trendy—and she’s known for a nervous-system-first approach that’s practical, grounded, and refreshingly free of fluff. Ashley’s work focuses on couples therapy, intimacy, anxiety, trauma, and perinatal mental health, with a strong emphasis on co-regulation, stress physiology, and shame-free conversations about what’s really happening beneath conflict. She’s also a birth trauma advocate, helping bring language, validation, and support to an experience that’s often minimized or misunderstood. Ashley is the voice behind The Rogue Therapist, where she delivers bold, honest education for people who are done performing their healing.

Connect with Ashley: Mindonline.ca

SOCIAL MEDIA:

Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/

Connect with Mind Online on IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindonline.ca/

Connect with Ashley on IG: https://www.instagram.com/therogue.therapist/

BIRTH EDUCATION:

Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet… Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone? Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app