215: They're Not Busy, They're Avoiding You

The disappearing. The suddenly busy. The phone that comes out the second eye contact gets real. In this episode of the nervous system series, Sabrina breaks down the flight response in dating and relationships: what's actually happening in the body when someone pulls back, why intimacy reads as danger, and why "I just need space" almost never has anything to do with space. Anxious and avoidant attachment both run this alarm, and we've spent years villainizing one and excusing the other instead of understanding either. Inside: why going cold after a great date isn't self-sabotage, how hyper independence and fear of vulnerability get wired in childhood, why situationships are often two flight responses agreeing not to scare each other, and the difference between an explanation and an excuse. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠ Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book Take the new and improved dating quiz! sabrinazohar.com/quiz If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step ⁠HERE!⁠ If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠ Get Ad free ⁠HERE!⁠ Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video. Want to work with Sabrina? ⁠HERE!⁠ Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show ⁠HERE!⁠ Don't forget to follow ⁠Sabrina⁠ and ⁠The Sabrina Zohar Show⁠ on Instagram and ⁠Sabrina ⁠on TikTok! Video now available on ⁠YOUTUBE!⁠ Chapters: 0:00 Why People Pull Away When It Gets Real 2:59 What The Flight Response Actually Is 6:06 Why We Villainize Avoidant Partners 9:38 The Anxious Avoidant Dance Explained 12:35 When Someone Says I Need Space 15:30 Why They Won't Let You In 18:17 Going Cold After A Good Date 21:10 How Flight Shows Up In Dating 24:50 What You Can't Control In Love 27:51 Tool Of The Week: Stay 10 Minutes Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices