285. Why You Lose Yourself When You Start Dating Someone w/ Chris Rackliffe

285. Why You Lose Yourself When You Start Dating Someone w/ Chris Rackliffe

Do you tend to go all in when you like someone, to the point where you've lost touch with your own life a bit? I'm chatting with Chris Rackliffe, an anxious attachment coach and author of Needy No More: The Journey from Anxious to Secure Attachment, who's helped thousands of people heal from patterns of trauma, abandonment, and codependency. We're getting into why we lose ourselves in dating and what to do about it.

We cover:

  • The earliest signs you're starting to abandon yourself when you meet someone new
  • Why resentment is the clearest signal a compromise has tipped into self-betrayal
  • Chris's framework for codependency
  • Why guilt is proportional to how long you've been overriding your own needs
  • His concept of emotional diversification, and why spreading out your sources of connection is a protective strategy, not just something nice to have
  • How to apply this whether you're in early dating or an established relationship
  • Whether opposite sleep schedules are actually a dealbreaker

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether opposite sleep schedules are a dealbreaker.


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305. The Truth About 50/50 and Dating as an Ambitious Woman w/ Stefanie O’Connell

305. The Truth About 50/50 and Dating as an Ambitious Woman w/ Stefanie O’Connell

Why do so many couples who believe in equality still end up falling into traditional gender roles? I’m joined by Stefanie O’Connell Rodriguez, author of The Ambition Penalty, to talk about what happen...

9 Okt 54min

304. Essential Texting Do's & Don'ts For Early Dating (throwback)

304. Essential Texting Do's & Don'ts For Early Dating (throwback)

Texting can create SO much unnecessary anxiety in early dating. You’re wondering if you’re texting too much, if you should text first, why they suddenly seem less responsive, or whether someone who’s ...

6 Okt 26min

303. The Science of Getting Past Small Talk (And What To Share on Dates) w/ Vanessa Bohns

303. The Science of Getting Past Small Talk (And What To Share on Dates) w/ Vanessa Bohns

What if the secret to better dates isn’t saying the “right” thing, but worrying less about how you’re coming across and getting more curious about the person in front of you? In this episode, I’m talk...

2 Okt 52min

302. How Do You Know If You’re In a Healthy Relationship?

302. How Do You Know If You’re In a Healthy Relationship?

How do you actually know if you’re in a healthy relationship? In this episode, I’m breaking down the four pillars I believe healthy relationships are built on: responsiveness, safety, freedom, and con...

29 Sep 33min

301. How To Navigate Jealousy In Dating & Relationships w/ Ally Iseman

301. How To Navigate Jealousy In Dating & Relationships w/ Ally Iseman

What if jealousy wasn’t a sign that something is wrong with you or your relationship, but an emotion you could actually learn from? In this episode, I’m talking with relationship coach Ally Iseman abo...

25 Sep 1h

300. How to Stop Trying to Control Everything in Your Love Life (Dating Dilemmas)

300. How to Stop Trying to Control Everything in Your Love Life (Dating Dilemmas)

Dating comes with a lot of frustrating uncertainty. You can’t know if attraction will grow, whether someone will choose the relationship, or how another person will react when you tell them the truth....

22 Sep 36min

299. How to Stay Open When You’re Fed Up With Dating w/ Serena Kerrigan

299. How to Stay Open When You’re Fed Up With Dating w/ Serena Kerrigan

What if dating felt less like a stressful search for your person and more like an experience you could actually enjoy? In this episode, I’m talking with Serena Kerrigan, creator and author of Let’s Fu...

18 Sep 50min

298. 7 Dating Mistakes That Make Finding a Relationship Take Longer

298. 7 Dating Mistakes That Make Finding a Relationship Take Longer

Feel like you're done wasting time on the wrong connections? I get it! In this episode, I'm breaking down seven of the most common mistakes I see people make in early dating, from dating someone's pot...

15 Sep 28min

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