516. Why We Check Out or Try to Control It All & How to Stop

516. Why We Check Out or Try to Control It All & How to Stop

Do you tend to shut down and emotionally check out when things feel difficult? Or maybe you take over and try to control every outcome. In this episode, I explain why these two reactions are actually two sides of the same coin: attempts to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Your brain is trying to protect you, but these strategies can keep you from being honest, asking for what you want, and creating the relationships and life you actually want.

This week, I walk you through how to recognize when you’re moving into control mode or checking out, get curious about the thoughts driving those reactions, and start separating the facts of a situation from the story your brain creates about it. The goal is not to judge yourself for these patterns, but to understand what problem your brain is trying to solve so you can choose a different response.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/516

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Mentioned in this episode:

What’s really blocking you from speaking up?

You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz

Take the free quiz here!

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518. Stop Asking Like You're Begging and Other Lessons from She's So Lucky with Les Alfred

518. Stop Asking Like You're Begging and Other Lessons from She's So Lucky with Les Alfred

What if the thing you’re calling “luck” is actually a combination of preparation, self-belief, and being willing to create your own opportunities?In this episode, I’m joined by Les Alfred, host of the...

13 Aug 33min

517. Coaching Hotline: Isn't Yelling at My Kids Messing Them Up?

517. Coaching Hotline: Isn't Yelling at My Kids Messing Them Up?

Do you ever get stuck in the cycle of losing your temper with your kids, then immediately judging yourself as a terrible parent? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is ...

11 Aug 8min

515. Coaching Hotline: What If "Good Enough" Makes Me Worse?

515. Coaching Hotline: What If "Good Enough" Makes Me Worse?

Do you believe that if you stop criticizing yourself, your work will suffer? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who worries that letting go of perfectionism will make her ...

4 Aug 5min

What’s Really Blocking You from Speaking Up?

What’s Really Blocking You from Speaking Up?

You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting wh...

3 Aug 1min

514. Your Brain is a Storyteller, Not a Reporter

514. Your Brain is a Storyteller, Not a Reporter

Your brain is not giving you an objective report of reality. It's constantly filtering, editing, and creating a story based on what it already believes about you and the world. In this episode, I expl...

30 Juli 11min

513. Coaching Hotline: Staying Because You're Scared to Leave

513. Coaching Hotline: Staying Because You're Scared to Leave

Are you staying in a relationship because you truly want to stay, or because you are afraid of what you will think about yourself if you leave? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a l...

28 Juli 3min

512. Most Habit Change Advice is Wrong - Inconsistency is the Key to Success (Greatest Hits)

512. Most Habit Change Advice is Wrong - Inconsistency is the Key to Success (Greatest Hits)

Most habit advice tells you to be perfectly consistent, show up every day, and never miss a beat. But that pressure is exactly what keeps people from forming habits in the first place. In this episode...

23 Juli 18min

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