The Baby is Coming.. Order Cracker Barrel

Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we’re all over the place in the best way possible. We kick things off with Riley’s completely unhinged dream involving Canada, a Ferris wheel, some famous friends, and somehow our old high school guidance counselor before taking a trip down memory lane to talk about what we were actually like in high school—and the advice we’d give anyone having to survive it now.

Then we get into the real issues facing America: kids running wild in Walmart, whether August is too early for fall decorations, being absolutely sick of sweating, and why we’re already ready for chili, chicken and dumplings, flannels, and weather cold enough to require a jacket. From there, things naturally spiral into sardines, cucumbers, pickled pig feet, TikTok Shop taking over our For You Pages, and why not everybody with a phone needs to become a salesman.

We also give a little life update on everything happening lately. We’ve officially started vlogging, we’re banking mukbangs and extra content for our upcoming Patreon, and apparently we’re one conversation away from booking a completely unnecessary trip to the Bahamas. Landon is also getting ready to become an uncle, complete with a Louis Vuitton push present for his sister and plans to turn the hospital waiting room into a catered family reunion.

And because we’re physically incapable of staying on one subject, we get into questionable hibachi restaurant health scores, blue-rare steak, Riley’s inability to sit still without tapping, clicking, shaking, or fidgeting with something, and about fifteen other conversations we had no business getting into.

By the end of it, we’ve solved absolutely nothing, offended several food groups, planned a vacation we haven’t booked, and somehow made a case for turning a labor and delivery waiting room into a church fellowship hall. Just another productive week at Bloodline Banter.

If you’ve ever wanted to hear two people go from pickled pig feet to hospital catering to a spontaneous Bahamas vacation without finishing a single thought in between, you’re in the right place. Grab a snack, get comfortable, and thanks for hanging out with us!

Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com.

Thank you to these sponsors:

Remi: Go to shopremi.com/BANTER and use code BANTER at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save until the end of August.

Cure Hydration: Go to curehydration.com/BANTER and get 20% off your first order with promo code BANTER.

Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter.

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Bloodline Banter:

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Landon Mauk:

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Riley Mitchell:

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