111: Boundaries, Destiny & Date Nights: Heather on From Mourning to Light

In this special crossover episode, Heather steps into the guest seat on Sadie Beyl's podcast From Mourning to Light Conversations. Sadie, a spiritual grief guide and founder of the From Mourning to Light Grief Summits, invites Heather to share the personal story behind her work as a psychotherapist and relationship coach - from a childhood blueprint of "look after everyone but yourself" through a first marriage that unravelled into distance and disconnection, to the Valentine's Day morning in 2016 when she finally set a conscious intention to call in real love.

Heather traces how discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas's Calling in "The One" work shifted something even a seasoned therapist hadn't fully reached in herself and the conversation opens out into some of the richest territory in relationships: recognising your patterns before they repeat, distinguishing destiny from unconscious wounding, and the practical, unglamorous tools (feelings-and-needs check-ins, weekly date nights, honest requests for change) that actually hold a relationship together over time.

Sadie and Heather also touch on grief, past lives, and what it means to build a relationship on a foundation of self-knowledge rather than chemistry alone.

Key Takeaways

• Your relationship patterns are traceable - and changeable. Heather shares how she kept unconsciously choosing unavailable partners until she could name the pattern and understand where it came from.
• "Calling In" work is future-focused. Rather than only examining the past, it asks: what do I want to feel, and how am I being right now in relation to that?
• Destiny brings you the person who will help you grow - but growth only happens if you're willing to see the dynamic clearly, rather than repeating it and calling it fate.
• Boundaries start with knowing your own feelings and needs. Heather walks through her "feelings and needs" practice - a simple, repeatable check-in anyone can do in five quiet minutes.
• Small, consistent habits protect a relationship far more than grand gestures. Weekly date nights, sharing gratitude and appreciation, and asking "is it true, is it kind, is it the right time?" before giving feedback all featured as practical, lasting tools.

Referenced in this episode

• Katherine Woodward Thomas, Calling in "The One"
• Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (film)
• Esther Perel, on becoming "intimate enemies"
• Alison Armstrong's "If I had it all my own way" exercise
• The Feelings and Needs Meditation — Episode 12 of Revolutionise Your Love Life
• Sadie Beyl's podcast, From Mourning to Light Conversations

About Sadie Beyl

Sadie Beyl is a spiritual grief guide and the founder of the From Mourning to Light online grief summits, which bring together diverse speakers and authors to explore how people rebuild meaningful lives after the death of a loved one. A former professional architect who ran her own practice in Cape Town with her husband, Paul, Sadie now supports those in grief through her 10-Week Transformation Workshop, meditation, mindfulness, Angel card readings, and past life regression sessions. She hosts From Mourning to Light Conversations, a companion podcast to the summits.

About Your Host

Heather Garbutt is a psychotherapist, love coach and accredited Calling In The One practitioner with over twenty years of experience working with women on love, relationships and the interior work that makes lasting change possible.
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