"I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me": Vicious Vickie on Surviving Abuse, Addiction, and the Wrestling World | Healing From Emotional Abuse

In this episode of Healing From Emotional Abuse, host Marissa F. Cohen sits down with Vicious Vickie, a professional wrestler from the New Jersey independent scene, to talk about the experiences that shaped her long before she ever stepped into a ring.

Vickie opens up about being sexually assaulted at 15 and the reputation-driven backlash that followed, an abusive high school relationship that escalated into a terrifying night she thought she might not survive, and the addiction and loss that came afterward. She talks candidly about getting sober, being sabotaged within the wrestling industry years later, and how that experience reopened trauma she thought she had already worked through.

The back half of the conversation turns toward healing: the neuroscience behind why we can feel drawn back to chaos, what it took to build a relationship rooted in real communication, and the small, unexpected things that still trigger her today. She also shares her honest take on the wrestling industry's Speaking Out movement and closes with advice for anyone chasing a dream while carrying real weight.

Content note: this conversation includes descriptions of sexual assault, physical abuse, and addiction. Please take care while listening.

Learn more about Foundations of Healthy Relationships, a six week guided experience to help you recognize unhealthy patterns, build stronger boundaries, and learn what healthy relationships look like. Link in the show notes and on our Instagram community.

Timestamps 00:00 Welcome and podcast mission 00:03 Meet Vicious Vickie 00:03 A great childhood before the trauma began 00:05 Sexual assault at 15 and being disbelieved 00:07 Losing three family members in four months 00:07 An abusive relationship in high school 00:09 A terrifying night on the highway 00:11 Addiction, loss, and getting sober 00:14 When new trauma reopens old wounds 00:17 Being sabotaged in the wrestling industry 00:19 How abuse shows up in different forms 00:20 Recognizing trauma responses in real time 00:22 A painful relationship and a breaking point 00:26 Taking healing one day at a time 00:27 Preemptive defensiveness as a trauma response 00:29 The neuroscience behind trauma bonding 00:32 What a healthy relationship feels like now 00:36 Communication as the saving grace 00:38 Sponsor message: Foundations of Healthy Relationships 00:39 Triggers that show up in unexpected places 00:44 Wrestling, fans, and finding purpose 00:47 The Speaking Out movement and its aftermath 00:52 On movements, motives, and real survivors 00:53 Sponsor message: Foundations of Healthy Relationships 00:54 Advice for people entering wrestling 00:58 Closing thoughts and gratitude

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact local emergency services. For confidential support, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 1-800-799-7233, and RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline is available at 1-800-656-4673.

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