"I Saw the Red Flags, But I Ignored Them" | Grace Oben on Healing From Emotional Abuse

Grace Oben is a certified mental health and life coach with over 15 years of experience supporting survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. In this conversation, Grace joins Marissa F. Cohen to talk about the patterns she sees most often in her work: the self-blame, the ignored red flags, and the moment survivors finally say, "enough is enough."

Grace shares how the stigma around mental health has shifted over the years, both in the United States and in the culture she grew up in, and why education and open conversation are still the biggest tools we have. She also walks through two of the exercises she uses most with clients, including a mirror forgiveness practice that consistently brings up deep, unexpected emotion. Marissa shares her own experience recognizing warning signs in a past relationship and ignoring them, a reminder that ignoring red flags isn't a personal failing, it's a common and human response to fear and hope.

This episode touches on domestic violence, sexual assault, and emotional abuse. There is no graphic detail, but listener discretion is advised if these topics are difficult for you right now.

Connect with Grace Oben: Website: providenceguide.com

This episode is sponsored by Foundations of Healthy Relationships, Marissa's six-week guided experience to help you recognize unhealthy patterns, build stronger boundaries, and learn what healthy relationships actually look and feel like. Learn more by joining the exclusive Instagram community, link in the show notes.

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome to Healing From Emotional Abuse

03:00 Introducing Grace Oben

04:00 How Grace got into mental health coaching

07:00 Mental health stigma in the U.S. and abroad

11:00 Sponsor: Foundations of Healthy Relationships

12:00 Grace's workshops, conferences, and upcoming recovery group

14:00 Working with survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault

16:00 The patterns and warning signs Grace sees most often

20:00 Sponsor: Foundations of Healthy Relationships

21:00 The most common thing survivors say: "I caused it"

22:00 The mirror work exercise

24:00 Marissa's own experience recognizing red flags

26:00 Grace's advice for survivors

28:00 How to connect with Grace

29:00 Why self-love has to come first

30:00 Closing thoughts

If you or someone you know needs support: National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (also available by text: START to 88788)

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