296. How to Spot (and Break) the Dating Patterns Keeping You Stuck

There's a reason you keep dating the same people in different fonts: it's your dating patterns.

In this episode, I'm sharing the three patterns I discovered while tracking my own dating life, how they were getting in the way of the relationship I actually wanted, and what I did differently once I could finally see them. I'm also walking you through a simple way to identify your own patterns and turn them into experiments so you can start getting different dating results.

In this episode, you'll learn:

What dating patterns actually are and how they can quietly influence who you choose and how you behave
Common patterns like getting attached too quickly, chasing unavailable people, staying too long, or writing people off too soon
The three dating patterns I discovered in my own dating life
Why I stopped rushing physical intimacy and started approaching sex differently
How I realized I was trying to earn affection instead of evaluating whether someone was right for me
Why consistency can feel less exciting when you're used to chasing someone's attention
How tracking my dates helped me spot behaviors I couldn't see in the moment
How to turn your own dating patterns into small experiments that help you make different choices

Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 41-year-old man figuring out how to start dating again after a 13-year marriage—and how to avoid falling back into old people-pleasing habits.

Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 277 on IRL dating

What my date tracking note looked like & the emoji key

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295. How to Give Someone a Chance Without Settling w/ Jordanne Sculler

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294. 5 Tiny Habits That Will Transform Your Dating Life

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tiny habits that can help you get better dating results, feel more confident and in control, and make dating a little more enjoyable. We’ll talk about how to make decisi...

1 Sep 30min

293. Why What Happens After The Date Matters Most (First Date Vibe Check)

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28 Aug 42min

292. Getting Back Into Dating? How to Start Without Losing Your Mind (Throwback)

Whether you’re newly single, coming out of a long-term relationship, or you’ve simply been out of the dating world for years, getting back into dating can feel overwhelming. The apps have changed, the...

25 Aug 25min

291. Are No Red Flags a Green Flag? (First Date Vibe Check)

If someone doesn't have any red flags, is that a green flag? This is the third episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date ...

21 Aug 35min

290. You Don't Need Certainty to Make a Good Dating Decision (Dating Dilemmas)

How much information do you actually need before you make a decision in your dating life? In this episode, I’m answering four real dating dilemmas that all come down to that one question.We’re talking...

18 Aug 27min

289. Is It Bad If A First Date Feels Too Easy? (First Date Vibe Check)

What if a first date is too easy and comfortable? This is the second episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date with me, f...

14 Aug 40min