Ep. 124 - How to Heal from Emotional Abuse & Rediscover Who You Are with Kristen Crabtree

Who were you before trauma, relationships, expectations, and survival taught you who you needed to become?

In this episode of the Finding Purpose Podcast, Adam sits down with Kristen Crabtree—author, certified divorce coach, founder of Paramour Paradox, and self-described "archaeologist of the self"—for a powerful conversation about psychological abuse, divorce, trauma recovery, emotional sobriety, authenticity, self-discovery, and finding purpose after losing yourself.

Kristen shares her deeply personal journey from experiencing sexual trauma as a teenager to spending 22 years in a psychologically abusive marriage. Over time, control, manipulation, isolation, and self-doubt left her disconnected from her own identity and questioning her ability to make even basic decisions.

Everything began to change when Kristen realized she could no longer stay.

After leaving her marriage in her mid-50s, she began confronting not only what had happened to her, but an even bigger question: Who am I now?

Kristen discusses healing from psychological and narcissistic abuse, EMDR and trauma therapy, alcoholism and recovery, rebuilding self-worth after divorce, and recognizing how survival patterns can become mistaken for identity. She explains why constantly replaying our trauma can keep us attached to the past and explores her concept of "emotional sobriety"—understanding how our bodies and minds can become conditioned to familiar emotional states.

Adam and Kristen also explore shame, addiction, emotional regulation, surrender, spirituality, people-pleasing, fear, living intentionally, and learning how to feel emotions without allowing them to control your life.

Through Paramour Paradox and her work as an "archaeologist of the self," Kristen now helps people excavate the layers of conditioning and adaptation they've accumulated throughout their lives. Her philosophy challenges the idea that healing requires becoming someone new. Instead, transformation may be about remembering the person who was there all along.

This is a conversation about surviving, healing, remembering, and finally giving yourself permission to live as the person you truly are.

About Kristen Crabtree

Kristen Crabtree is an author, certified divorce coach, and founder of Paramour Paradox. After leaving a 22-year psychologically abusive marriage, Kristen transformed her own healing journey into work designed to help others reconnect with their authentic selves.

She is the author of Be the You That's More You Than You've Ever Been and uses psychology, neuroscience, philosophy, lived experience, and self-inquiry to help people uncover who they are beneath conditioning and survival patterns.

Connect with Kristen

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/paramourparadox/

LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kcrabtree8/

Paramour Paradox:
https://www.paramourparadox.com/

Substack:
https://paramourparadox.substack.com/

About Adam

Adam is a Recovery Coach Professional (RCP) based in Fairfield County, Connecticut, providing recovery coaching, companioning, sober travel and transition support, event and social companioning, and family guidance locally and nationwide.

Drawing on his own long-term recovery, Adam supports individuals and families navigating addiction, early sobriety, treatment transitions, relapse recovery, and rebuilding a meaningful life in recovery.

Production Partner

Produced by Claudio, Justin, and the team at Cayivisions.
https://www.cayivisions.com/

Looking to launch a podcast, create high-impact content, or elevate your brand through storytelling? Connect with the team at Cayivisions.

Sponsors

Get Skinny Peptides | GSP Concierge
https://www.gspconcierge.com/
Personalized access to research products and educational information through a private, informed experience.

Relive the Moments
https://www.relivethemoments.com/
Innovative NFC tap technology and interactive products transforming how memories and experiences are shared.

SweatHouz Westport
https://sweathouz.com/westport-book-now/
(203) 571-3334
Private contrast therapy suites featuring infrared sauna, cold plunge, and vitamin-C showers supporting recovery, relaxation, performance, and wellness.

Tweeds Custom Suits
https://www.tweedssuitshop.com/
https://www.instagram.com/sethwithtweeds/
Premium custom menswear and personalized styling designed to elevate confidence through intentional style.

Connect with Adam

Website: https://www.adamvohra.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adamvohra_/
Finding Purpose Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/findingpurposepod/

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or navigating recovery, visit Adam's website to learn more about his recovery support services or reach out for a confidential conversation.

Follow the Finding Purpose Podcast, subscribe on YouTube and your favorite podcast platform, leave a review, share this episode with someone who needs it, and join the conversation in the comments.