S5E75 - WE KNOW WHAT A JELLYBEAN IS (FREE PART)

Atheists, you can believe in God, too. Just call it “nature.” This episode proves God exists and makes the case for a supreme being who pushed the first domino 14 billion years ago and has not sweat the small stuff since.

9 Feb 201829min

To whine about gentrification and call it genocide is to be a giant cry baby that turns crime and degradation into some kind of sacred culture that must be preserved. That being said, living with yuppies is extremely irritating. They are spoiled brats who would rather watch a black handicapped woman die, than be seen as racist.

6 Feb 201833min

Outside of murder, mental illness, and drug addiction, family is forever. Friends however, renew their contract about once a year which is usually how often you have a really big fight. I just said a permanent goodbye to my pal of 35 years, Steve. You will do the same with your closest friends. Sometimes you cancel your friend plan after the first year. Sometimes you renew the contract for decades. It will eventually end, especially if one of you has a family and the other doesn’t. If it’s permanence you’re looking for (and you are) start a family.

2 Feb 201844min

He was in his late 60s but he died in the closet last week and it breaks my heart. He was a great man who had a rough life and the idea of never openly being yourself just sounds like infinite torture to me. Poor bastard. May he rest in peace.

30 Jan 201847min

Very excited to have dead Prime Minister Winston Churchill guest host this week’s podcast. He’s been awoken from the slumber of death by all this recent Hollywood attention but it’s not making the egomaniac more proud. It’s actually making him doubt his legacy. Churchill goes back to the Boer War of 1900 to re-examine his life and consider the possibility that he wasn’t, in fact, a hero who saved millions of lives. He may have been the opposite.

26 Jan 201831min

Though “A Night For Freedom” and the insanity that surrounded it was covered in great detail on Monday’s “Get Off My Lawn,” I wanted a freebie for the masses so everyone could see how completely unhinged the Alt-Left have become. To have basically the same beliefs as your dad is considered “Alt-Left” in 2018 and we all need to die, especially if we dare congregate in private to hear each other speak. We have officially entered the realm of the unwell.

23 Jan 201844min

This isn’t going to happen again but this episode is just about my week. It gets its own show because it involved: knife fights, spies, cocaine, heroin, prison, guns, Anthony Cumia, James O’Keefe, Milo Yiannopoulos, Ann Coulter, Artie Lang, Stefan Molyneaux, Mike Cernovich, antifa, Proud Boys, and police. It’s been the most insane time of my life and the week isn’t even over yet.

19 Jan 20181h

One of the great things about old as hell is you’ve seen a lot of people change over the years. A good 94% of them stay the same but 5% go on to be wildly successful and then 1% completely lose their minds. The takeaway here is not trying to change these stats but just give thanks that we didn’t get sucked into that tiny vortex of total insanity.

13 Jan 20181h 13min