S14 Ep724: Safe House (1998)
We Hate Movies20 Feb 2024

S14 Ep724: Safe House (1998)

“I think the beauty of [this movie], if there is, is that Patrick Stewart gets to act like a child through most of this! - Chris

On this week’s episode, this one’s a long-time coming as we finally chat about the ridiculous Patrick Stewart made-for-Showtime thriller, Safe House! What’s with this abhorrent Pool Man character and the impressions? How hilarious is it that the so-called villain’s name is pronounced like, “Michael Moore”? How many times has Patrick Stewart’s character almost been sued by maids and groundskeepers for all the ‘drills’ he runs around them? And why couldn’t we get a little more Hector Elizondo in this movie? PLUS: John Wayne tries to order lunch at a Wendy’s!

Safe House stars Patrick Stewart, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Hector Elizondo, Joy Kilpatrick, and Craig Shoemaker as Stuart; directed by Eric Steven Stahl.

This episode is sponsored in part by MeUndies! Good things come in big packages at MeUndies. Get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping, at MeUndies dot com slash whm. That’s Me Undies dot com slash whm for 20% off, plus free shipping. MeUndies—comfort from the outside in.

This ep is also brought to you by Rocket Money. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. RocketMoney dot com slash WHM.

Be sure to catch us on tour this spring, gang! We’ll be hitting Atlanta, Houston and Austin and we wanna see you come out! Head over to our tour page and get them tix! In Atlanta we’re talking about Gerard Butler in Gamer, Houston is a W❤️M on Robocop 2, and in Austin we’re doing another W❤️M celebrating the great Robert Rodriguez movie, From Dusk Till Dawn!

Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Time Runner, Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!

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S15: On-Screen Live's SXSW 2025 Coverage Special with Reviews of Drop, The Accountant 2, We Are Storror, Clown in a Cornfield & Much More!

S15: On-Screen Live's SXSW 2025 Coverage Special with Reviews of Drop, The Accountant 2, We Are Storror, Clown in a Cornfield & Much More!

On this special prime time edition of OSL, Andrew and Eric welcome long-time friend of the show, and UFO co-director, Sean Weiner to talk about our SXSW25 experience and to review a boat load of films we caught in Austin this year, including Christopher Landon's Drop, Michael Bay's We Are Storror, Eli Craig's Clown in a Cornfield, and more! Get more info on all the great work UFO does right here: https://www.ufo-films.org/ On-Screen Live airs Mondays at noon/eastern on our YouTube channel! U.K. and European listeners: be sure to snag your tickets for our 3-night, 6-show residency at the Oxford Comedy Festival, happening this July 18-20! All show and ticketing info is available on our website. Through December 2025, we’ll be donating all proceeds from our Tee-Public store to the Center for Reproductive Rights. Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new GHOSTHEADS, Too Old for This Shit, Forrest the Universal Soldier, and Jack Kirby designs! Pick something up and support a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

19 Mars 1h 12min

S15 Ep790: A Low Down Dirty Shame

S15 Ep790: A Low Down Dirty Shame

“Well, the action isn’t bad!” - Steve On this week’s episode, Listener Request Month continues as the guys chat about the Keenen Ivory Wayans action comedy, A Low Down Dirty Shame! Should someone else have starred as Shame if we were going to have this much dramatic acting asked of whoever got to play Shame? Couldn’t we have had a little more Sven-Ole Thorsen in this movie? Why does Shame only get the cool-guy makeover with like 20 minutes left of the movie? And how fantastic is Jada in everything, including this? PLUS: Clint Eastwood, unlikely ally for Wayman and Bernard?! Find out this summer when he stars in Supportive Grandpa! A Low Down Dirty Shame stars Keenen Ivory Wayans, Jada Pinkett Smith, Charles S. Dutton, Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Corwin Hawkins, Gary Carlos Cervantes, Gregory Sierra, Kim Wayans, Andrew Schaefer, and the great Andrew Divoff as Mendoza; directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans. Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

18 Mars 1h 38min

S15 Ep789: 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag

S15 Ep789: 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag

“Well, shit, this one just straight-up broke the four of us…” - Andrew On this week’s episode, Listener Request Month kicks our ass as we’re forced to watch and talk about the dreadful hitman comedy, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag! How awful are all the attempts at joke writing in this script? How many cross-country flights is Joe Pesci taking in this movie? Who wanted to be here less, Pesci or David Spade? And how dare they show the grandmother in a body cast at the end, that woman is dead! PLUS: No way this laundry woman is wrapping that head, folks!  8 Heads in a Duffle Bag stars Joe Pesci, Andy Comeau, Kristy Swanson, George Hamilton, Dyan Cannon, Todd Louiso, Anthony Mangano, Joe Basile, Ernestine Mercer, Frank Roman, Howard George, and David Spade as Ernie; directed by Tom Schulman. This episode is brought to you in part by Factor! Eat smart with Factor. Get started at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash FACTORPODCAST and use code FACTORPODCAST to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That’s code FACTORPODCAST at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash FACTORPODCAST to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

11 Mars 1h 45min

S15 Ep788: In the Line of Fire (W❤️M) PREVIEW

S15 Ep788: In the Line of Fire (W❤️M) PREVIEW

“Leary, to me, does not seem like a man of the people…” - Chris On this month’s W❤️M, Listener Request Month brings us a conversation on one of the all-time great Ass Magnet Movies, Wolfgang Peterson’s In the Line of Fire! How fantastic is John Malkovich in this movie? Why did we need the romance angle, especially with the cheap ice cream of it all? How hilarious is all this bad photoshop of Eastwood in the—hold it right there, punk! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, along with hours of exclusive shows you can't get anywhere else, head over to our Patreon and sign up now. You'll instantly unlock this edition of We ❤️ Movies, along with a whole smorgasbord of extra shows like our Star Wars Gleep Glossary and our 1990's primetime flashback show, MELR0210!

6 Mars 6min

S15 Ep787: Link (1986)

S15 Ep787: Link (1986)

“It’s a Tales from the Crypt episode, without the blood and obscenity!” - Chris On this week’s episode, the 2025 Listener Request Month kicks off with a convo about the sleepy 1986 monkey horror, Link! Why couldn’t we see any of these kills? How hilarious is that dog puppet? What exactly is Terence Stamp’s character studying with these chimps? And look at that little peeper, Link, ruining that sensual bath! PLUS: Worst job on set? Definitely the person who had the dye the orange orangutan black so it looked like a chimpanzee. Link stars Elisabeth Shue, Terence Stamp, Steven Finch, Richard Garnett, David O’Hara, Joe Belcher, and Kevin Lloyd as Bailey; directed by Richard Franklin. This episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM today. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

4 Mars 1h 38min

S15: On-Screen Live 2.24.25 The White Lotus Season 3 (So Far), WHM's Oscars Predictions, A Bad Secret Movie™️ & More!

S15: On-Screen Live 2.24.25 The White Lotus Season 3 (So Far), WHM's Oscars Predictions, A Bad Secret Movie™️ & More!

On this week's On-Screen Live, we're checking in on the start of the latest season of Mike White's The White Lotus, reviewing a really not-great Christoph Waltz Secret Movie™️ called Old Guy, analyzing the weekend box office & making some predictions for who's gonna win what on Hollywood's Biggest Night! On-Screen Live airs Mondays at noon/eastern on our YouTube channel! U.K. and European listeners: be sure to snag your tickets for our 3-night, 6-show residency at the Oxford Comedy Festival, happening this July 18-20! All show and ticketing info is available on our website. Through December 2025, we’ll be donating all proceeds from our Tee-Public store to the Center for Reproductive Rights. Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new GHOSTHEADS, Too Old for This Shit, Forrest the Universal Soldier, and Jack Kirby designs! Pick something up and support a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

26 Feb 1h 5min

S15 Ep786: Signs

S15 Ep786: Signs

“Who doesn’t want to live like the Donner party?” - Steve On this week’s episode, WAIT-WHUT-uary comes to a close with a convo on a film by the MACK DADDY of WAIT-WHUT endings, M. Night Shyamalan’s Signs! How amazing are all the performances in this movie? Kids included! Is this one of Night’s best-shot films, what with the incredible cinematography by the legendary Tak Fujimoto? How hilarious is that Michael Showalter appearance? And who didn’t mess themselves with that Brazilian birthday party video? PLUS: Beware the offering of “heavy” water… Signs stars Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Abigail Breslin, Rory Culkin, Cherry Jones, Merritt Weaver, and M. Night Shyamalan as Ray Reddy; directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Tickets are on sale now for our three-night residency during the Oxford Comedy Festival! We’ll be doing six shows over three nights from July 18 through 20, doing shows like WHM, W❤️M, The Nexus, The Gleep Glossary, and Animation Damnation! Tickets are going fast, so friends over there, snag your tix!  Throughout 2025, we’ll be donating 100% of our earnings from our merch shop to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So head over and check out all these masterful designs and see what tickles your fancy! Shirts? Phone cases? Canvas prints? We got all that and more! Check it out and kick in for a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

25 Feb 1h 51min

S15: On-Screen Live 2.17.25 Captain America: Brave New World & The Monkey Reviews + The 2025 Listener Request Month Drawing

S15: On-Screen Live 2.17.25 Captain America: Brave New World & The Monkey Reviews + The 2025 Listener Request Month Drawing

On this week's OSL, we're reviewing the latest film shot out of the MCU, Captain America: Brave New World, along with the latest wild-ass film from Oz Perkins, The Monkey! PLUS: We're doing the drawing for the 2025 Listener Request Month, so be sure to listen to this episode to find out what we're watching and talking about next month! On-Screen Live airs every Monday at noon/eastern on our YouTube channel: YOUTUBE DOT COM SLASH WE HATE MOVIES U.K. and European listeners: be sure to snag your tickets for our 3-night, 6-show residency at the Oxford Comedy Festival, happening this July 18-20! All show and ticketing info is available on our website. Through December 2025, we’ll be donating all proceeds from our Tee-Public store to the Center for Reproductive Rights. Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new GHOSTHEADS, Too Old for This Shit, Forrest the Universal Soldier, and Jack Kirby designs! Pick something up and support a good cause! Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

19 Feb 58min

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