029 | Going From One Kid to Two? Your Mental Health Needs You to Listen to This

A mom shares her honest stories and learnings of going from one kid to two and how it affected her mental health in ways she never expected. She shares what she wishes she knew and how you can be more prepared for postpartum a second time.

28 | Emily Adler Mosqueda of Postpartum 365

Since experiencing postpartum depression late in her second postpartum, Emily Alder Mosqueda has become an advocate for postpartum time.

Emily regularly shares peer-reviewed research on postpartum topics on her Instagram to shift the cultural understanding of how long the postpartum time lasts and the issues that can and do arise after six months postpartum.

Carley, the Founder of Hello Postpartum, is sitting down with Emily to hear about her personal experience of welcoming her second baby.

Listen in as they discuss the process of going from one kid to two, the differences in pregnancies for each person, and much more.

Going from one kid to two

No two pregnancies are the same, as society leads us to believe. Emily talks through many of the struggles she faced with her second pregnancy. Compared to her first, her general feeling of wellness and anxiety went from bad to worse.

Learning to cope with these changes took a lot of inner work, practicing coping methods, and yet another shift in the family dynamic.

Is the second child harder?

The second child isn't always harder, but there are many things mothers may not expect when bringing home another baby. Just because we have experienced pregnancy and raising a child does not mean that the second child will be a cakewalk.

Women are 20% more likely to suffer from mental health issues after a second child. But because most women see a second pregnancy differently than the first, many warning signs are missed, even by the health care providers we put our trust into during that time.

And remember, it is just as - if not more - essential to support your mental health as it is to support your family.

What to know about having a second child

Siblings need attention just as much as a new baby. It is important to set aside time for them, away from the baby, to keep the bonds between mother and child strong and avoid any unwanted jealousy.

Learning from your past experiences will help you better prepare for your postpartum recovery.

A good support system is probably more important the second time because the balance has shifted from focusing on one child to two. Having as strong of a postpartum plan as possible will help alleviate unwanted stress, and better prepare you for what's to come.

Hold the mother until she asks you to hold the baby.

What I've learned going from one to two kids

We never stop learning from our experiences. During a second pregnancy, there is less of a focus on what clothes my newborn will wear and more on supporting the health and wellness of mothers and their families.

Society places so much shame on certain emotions surrounding motherhood. But just because we don't possess all of the warning signs of mental health issues doesn't mean we aren't suffering. There are things you are tied to in motherhood that you have never been tied to before.

Dr. Andrea O'Reilly of Feminist Press stated that Motherhood is the unfinished business of feminism. It is a time to receive, not to give. Be open to receiving -whether from a therapist or a friend cooking for you - so you can slow down and focus on yourself.

Topics covered

The second time around (02:18)
Older siblings and the second pregnancy (17:08)
Pregnancy bandwidth (21:01)
Postpartum support international (25:33)
Certain emotions for women (35:15)
Mother-centered feminism (39:36)
References to perfectionism (46:29)
The final question (48:00)

Additional resources

Explore the resources shared in this week's episode

• PMAD info
• Dr. Aron's book, The Highly Sensitive Parent
• Feminist Press: started by Matricentric Feminist Dr. Andrea O'Reilly featuring books on mothering and advocacy
• Follow Emily on Instagram @postpartum365 and @emilyadlermosqueda

Other family resources you might enjoy

1. Four Tips for Sharing the Domestic Load After Birth
2. How to Cope with a Toddler and a Newborn
3. New Baby? Six Tips on Setting Boundaries with Family