Episode 326: Welcome to Mooseport

I’m watching one of those David Attenborough-narrated nature documentaries, because it’s my day and I get to do whatever stupid crap I want. I love these shows, especially the ones about the ocean, even if the information goes in one ear and out the other. I think I just like bobbing around in the water with those crazy guys, and marinating in Big Dave’s raspy whispers. He’s definitely a compelling narrator, and I even think he’s probably pretty smart, if only from just actually reading the information I let wash over me like whale guts while researching carpet cleaners on my laptop. But within a few minutes of this one, he dumped out something like “We’ve explored more of Mars than we have the deep ocean, and blah blah blah”, which made me look up from the computer in shock. That’s some dumb shit I would say, not you. You’re British! Do something smart! Anyway enjoy YKS: the show that’s sometimes just as smart as Blue Planet II. And don’t forget to #EatLikeOsama. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Want more YKS? The only place for it is YKS Premium! Get ad-free episodes and a bunch of other episodes and mainly the draw there is more episodes, I guess. You have to like listening to our show to really get much out of the deal, which is unfortunate really; I think we’d do a lot better if it was, for instance, brand new Apple computers or extra medicine that people didn’t use all of when they were sick or something like that. But as it is, enjoy us talking more on there for about $5/month. Athletic Greens - Did you know: Vitamins are actually good for you? Yes! Many scientists presumably agree that getting the full alphabet of those bad boys inside ya will help with everything from tip to tail. But forget the big pills and suck ‘em down liquid-style, with Athletic Greens! Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yksFastGrowing Trees - It’s time to get dirty! I’ve been out in the yard digging holes and planting stuff and putting water on it. It’s fun, and it looks good, and it probably helps the earth somehow. Join me, won’t you? With 15% off your order at FastGrowingTrees.com/yks, I don’t see how you can afford not to!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Juni 20232h 5min

I am a good person because of where I buy stuff! Are you? Keep in mind, if you say no, we will be instantly waging an ideological and perhaps literal war – one which can only be solved only with a swipe of our credit cards. On today’s show, we take a few swipes of our own – at some scams and flubs of today, including an air conditioner that fits on your wrist, a computer that tells you if your kid is drowning, and a way to sell your parking spot. Wow! Nobody ever thought of that! And nobody ever thought of this either: download our show and listen to it so you can have a nice time! That is the Mike Hale guarantee.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! The only place, perhaps on Earth, with as much YKS as the regular YKS feed! On last week’s show we had a bunch of nasty guys. And this week’s show? Well, let’s just say there’s gonna be at least 2 of em on the mic. Lord have mercy!This week’s YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:HelloFresh - Breakfast, lunch, or dinner: which meal you use HelloFresh for is what’s known as “dealer’s choice”. I’m a dinnerman, but if you’re Lunch Heads in your household, then by all means, cook ‘em up around noontime! But whatever you do, don’t pay full price for these delectable, healthy, convenient meals. Use our code! Get 16 free meals plus free shipping at hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

12 Juni 20232h 6min

My roots are planted in the pastThough my life is changing fastWho I am is who I want to beA single mom who works too hardWho loves her kids and never stopsWith gentle hands and the heart of a fighterI'm a survivor... Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Please…subscribe to YKS Premium! My yard needs yard food to live. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: AthleticGreens - I need my vitamins so bad! But how do I get them? Maybe by using a knife and fork to eat a huge pill by a burning oil drum? Uhh no, maybe I should just get a delicious slightly tropical beverage packed with all the nutrients a man heading into flu and cold season could possibly ask for! Get a whole year’s worth of vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yksFactor - It’s a “feeding frenzy”! The Factor box has just arrived and the entire family is rushing toward the door in a massive sphere of humanity to pick out their favorite lunches and dinners. But no worries, Factor has something for everyone! Even Fido! (If Fido is like the name of your kid or grandma etc.) Wanna try some for yourself? Head to factormeals.com/yks50 for 50% off your first box!NordVPN - 🌏 Get Exclusive NordVPN deal here ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKSIt’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Juni 20232h 7min

I’m sitting at the kitchen table writing this episode description and while it’s never a very productive place to do any work, it’s definitely a lot harder when your kids are sitting here smashing their chips on the table and talking about the origins of the word “fork”. I don’t know! It probably comes from some dead guy! On this very picturesque episode of YKS, we’ve got a new freak to love, an old freak to hate, and something called “Poopl”! Now that sounds like a jam-packed episode, and I just looked it up and it’s from the Old English forca, force (denoting a farm implement), based on Latin furca ‘pitchfork, forked stick’; reinforced in Middle English by Anglo-Norman French furke (also from Latin furca ). Great! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! The ONLY place you can get more Mike and JF! Unless you start hanging out at the grocery store or weed store and you happen to see us there and confront us with a little whistle and flag while wearing a bodycam for YouTube in the hopes that we start beating on you! Last week we went back to school once again to do battle with some elementary schoolers on elementary subjects, and made ourselves look stupid as hell. Most of the time we look really smart though. You could be smart too, by signing up today and enjoying our big brains at Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Rocket Money - Too many dadgum subscriptions! This is a modern day problem that calls for a modern day solution: Rocket Money. Rockets are modern, and so is money, so what I said basically makes sense. Let Rocket Money “blow up” that unused, overpriced streaming service bloat on your bank account, and reclaim that cash we all love to have! Try it out today at RocketMoney.com/yksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

29 Maj 20231h 45min

Now before you get mad at me for language appropriation for the title, listen to the episode. And get mad at my kid instead! I’m just kidding don’t email me about this or I’ll lose my gourd. Last time I saw him, he was in Vancouver. Again, this is a joke. On today’s episode of YKS, we are reviewing some funny ass memes, headbanging to the Abhorrent Stench of Flatulence, and discovering just what types of things you shouldn’t imply you are doing to your dog on a t-shirt you wear in public. Plus! A work from home solution so bad I’d go into the office, a guy who thinks he can make air travel even less dignified, and a cute little kitchen gadget from Japan that I actually don’t want. Insane…how do they do it?!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium! THAT’S the place to listen to the real show…not none of this 2 hour long hilarious, informative, sometimes-mentioned-on-a-website stuff. We’re talking LESS runtime, LESS relevant, and WAY LESS informative. It’s the only place to catch your two favorite guys watchin’ videos, makin’ videos, and chatting with crazy guests. That’s right, we’ll NEVER have a guest on YKS Regular. They fuck with our flow! Check out our fucked up flow and much more over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - When the meals come to your house and they’re good and healthy >>> Get 50% off your 1st box code with the code yks50 at factormeals.com/yks50Athletic Greens - We simply must have our vitamins, gang! And throw in the nutrients as well, gratis. 5 free travel packs and a year supply of Vitamin D can be yours, if you sign up today at athleticgreens.com/yksFast Growing Trees - I am looking out onto my beautiful verdant shrubs, that I myself purchased, with a different style of “green”, from FGT, right now, and I simply could not be prouder. Unless you also did the same. Why not? Now I’ve heard of pruning trees, but pruning prices? Well, just go on over to Fastgrowingtrees.com/yks, where you’ll get 15% off, and tell me if that doesn’t make a little more sense to ya. NordVPN - 🌏 Get an Exclusive NordVPN deal here ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Maj 20231h 59min

Yesterday I was in Lowe’s looking for an anti-siphon valve, and a guy walked up behind me also looking for something. It sounded like he was looking for the same thing as me, so I showed it to him and he was like “no that’s not it, it’s like this.” And that’s fine I was just sitting there anyway. So then the Lowe’s employee walks over and he’s looking around, and mumbling, and going “Oh that’s not good”, and the original guy starts saying how he’s just gonna have to order it online, and it used to be $5 and all this shit. So I get my thing and stand up, and the guy’s wife says “I think he has the thing right there. And it’s only $4.” So I hand it to him and he just takes it and leaves. What a loser! Anyway none of that is in the show today, which is mostly about Pasta Tools, Trevor Ariza’s Money, rap battles, bougie popcorn, and AI pens. Nothing about my triumphant Lowe’s story, though, unfortunately. Still worth a listen.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. For ad-free episodes, access to the YKS Pisscord, and a whole bunch of other crapola, you’re gonna wanna head on over to YKS Premium and give us a classic amount of money! By the way, the Pisscord is a Discord server. And I don’t really know why we call it that. Pretty stupid actually, but guess what. Smart people are in there. Let’s go bother them!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Maj 20231h 57min

Wake up Danny, I think I got some edits for you to do! We may have lulled our producer off to slumber land for this episode but maybe you can stay up for most of it. On this Oops All Holes episode of YKS, we got a revolution in online content consumption, a condom for your pillow, and the least credible AI-related project we have ever seen. So we got just one question for ya: how many winks ya gonna get…on this all new episode of YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Oh please oh please oh please subscribe to YKS Premium! THAT is where you’re gonna get more YKS than you know what to do with, up to and including 6 (if it’s one of the Jumbo months) bonus eps, video, and more. And plus, it’s good for the environment. This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: HelloFresh - I like chicken, I like dinner, HelloFresh you are the winner! They make some good stuff over (pointing to big food factory) there so you can make some good stuff over (pointing to stove) there. Get 16 free meals + free shipping at Hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16Rocket Money - I’m getting sick and tired of these mother-bleepin’ subscriptions on this mother-bleepin’ credit card statement! But Rocket Money can help me get that under control. I don’t remember the rest of the movie so I can’t really do another bit on it. Luckily I am subscribed at the top tier to all these streaming services so I can watch it whenever I want. Oh wait! Save money on your subscriptions today at RocketMoney.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

8 Maj 20231h 52min

What’s better than a satisfying dinner (the 300th episode)? How about an elegant dessert (the 301st episode)! Then you can smoke inside the restaurant (the 302nd episode), go to the bathroom and throw up (the 303rd episode), and sit down for another entree (the 304th episode). That’s right, the episodes are courses! And right now, this one is “coursing” through the internet on the way to your precious little ears and lobes! On today’s show, we have the Return of Quikster, some AI crapola, and dole out the YKS Bump. Plus, a sponge you can pass down to your grandchildren! Isn’t that stupid? Yep. But that’s the show. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium..doo doo doot…it makes ya feel good! That could be kinda cool if we were to ever do a jingle for an ad. When you’re feelin’ low…just watch the show! That’s right, watch! Catch video eps of YKS Premium, exclusive mailbags and more at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Mt. Ellinor Candle Company - Whether it’s the Olympus, the Skokomish, or my personal favorite, the Rainier, this is one candle you will want to burn at both ends! Go to MtEllinor.com and use the code YKS to get 15% off at checkout.Factor - Morning, noon, and night, you’re eating meals. And they’ve never been more healthful or convenient than they have been with Factor. Soon, they’ll be calling you, “Mr. Meals!” Enter the code YKS50 at Factormeals.com/YKS50 for 50% off! Athletic Greens - I just got done with a little travel my own self and I don’t know where I’d be without my Athletic Greens travel packs. Probably would have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque! Oh brother, not again! I shoulda had my adaptogens! Get 5 free travel packs and a year’s supply of Vitamin D at Athleticgreens.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Maj 20231h 48min