S01 E29 | Jay Jay Okocha's Phoenix Knights | Footballland

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It's been another successful meeting at Footballland, and we're proud to present you with THREE new rides:

Jay Jay Okocha's Phoenix Nights

Food lovers at Footballland have been thus far treated to two themed restaurants in Asscoffiation Noshball and Come Dine With Ben Mee. However, many listeners have written in to complain that a couple of eateries isn't enough for a giant theme park, and why isn't there a Medieval restaurant run by Jay Jay Okocha that pays tribute to BOTH Bolton's Premier League heroes in the mid 00's AND Peter Kay's hit sitcom Pheonix Nights?

Yeah, that's a lot to take in. Basically it's a medieval themed restaurant that for some reason features Sam Allardyce's Bolton.

The Paolo Di Canio Springere Ride

Patron Rob Lindsay fondly remembers Paolo Di Canio, albeit without being so keen on the fascism thing. He asks for some sort of ride which takes into account both the good parts of the teeny-tiny-Italia-maestro and the bad. We had a good think about this one, and Rob Lindsay, we reckon you'll be very pleased.

Chant If You Want To Go Faster

FINALLY, a ride which changes tempo based on how loud its riders chant! We've stuck two pirate ships next to each other. You know, the ones that go back and forth. The bloke in the control booth adjusts their speed depending on the volume of their passengers. First to do a full loop wins.

Keep sending us your ideas. We'll feature every one!

Love,

Anthony, Ryan and Mark

Footballland Explained:

Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given $1 billion dollars by Qatar to build a football-themed theme park in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup. He and Mark Davison (Chief Ride Engineer) are in a race against the clock to design and commission the most exciting football theme park rides in the history of amusements.

Anthony Richardson, CEO of Footballland

Mark Davison, Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer

Ryan Baxter, Intern.

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