Ep. 10: Tips on Oral Sex, Not Feeling Like Doin’ It, and Sex Toys

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:1) I am single but please don’t tell me to go online to meet someone because I have absolutely no luck that way. Where should I go in person to meet men? Where are they all hiding?2) My husband is obsessed with the size of his penis. He thinks it’s too small and despite years of reassurance, he’s still really paranoid (He measured it and it’s 4.5 inches/11.5cm when erect.) Every time we have intercourse, he says, ‘I know that won’t have been very satisfying for you’. I’m exhausted by it all. How can I reassure him the problem isn’t his size, it’s him going on and on about it.3) I met my girlfriend online during lockdown, so most of the sex we had together at the start was via Zoom. Even though it wasn’t in person, it was awesome. She’d masturbate in front of me, talk dirty – nothing seemed off limits. I couldn’t wait to have sex in person but when we finally did, it was weird. She’s really inhibited and uptight and anxious. It hasn’t got better with time. What’s going on? And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUTracey writes a column summarizing the main points of each episode on Medium. Read it at https://bit.ly/3MhkxN4Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

25 Jan 202225min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:1) I’ve been married for 15 years and have sex once a week. My husband tells me this isn’t enough and that other couples do it much more than we do. Is he right? He’s starting to make me feel like there’s something wrong with me for not wanting to do it more often.2) I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years, since I was 18. It’s been a wonderful relationship and I love him dearly but I think I’ve always known it was more friendship than romantic love for me. The problem is I’m not just breaking up with him, I’m breaking up our families and friends as well. Our lives are so intertwined. I can’t bear the thought of hurting everyone and causing so much disruption. What should I do?3) My partner wants to try roleplaying our fantasies but the thought of dressing up and play-acting fills me with dread. At best, I think I’d laugh. At worst, I think I’d die with embarrassment. What should I do? She’s insistent we give it a go. And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUTracey writes a column summarizing the main points of each episode on Medium. Read it at https://bit.ly/3MhkxN4Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18 Jan 202226min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:I have a dilemma. I have lots of women friends in my drama class. They are all very pleasant and I enjoy being in their company. One of the unattached ones has fallen for me. I am attached (and believe it or not do love my partner) and will never leave her, and my friend knows it. But there is a sexual attraction between us, and genuine caring between us. It’s been going on for a few years. We have never kissed, except on the cheek. And we meet and have tea and a chat about once every 3 months, pandemic allowing. Am I being unfair to her to still see her, knowing she has fallen for me, with no prospect of anything really happening? I want to do the right thing by her.I’m a 28-year old healthy female but have some issues with desire. I’ve read that taking Viagra makes sex feel better for women. Is this true and would you recommend women take it?Please help! I’m a straight man in my mid-20s and still a virgin, even though I’m pretty average looking and have lots of friends. I haven’t yet had a proper relationship. I don’t have a problem attracting women, but I don’t ever seem to get past the foreplay stage and then things just fizzle out. What am I doing wrong? And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUTracey writes a column summarizing the main points of each episode on Medium. Read it at https://bit.ly/3MhkxN4Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

11 Jan 202222min

Back by popular demand, this week we're re-releasing episode 15. In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:My partner of 12 years wants me to ‘peg’ him. I didn’t even know what it was and had to google it. Now I’m worried. Not only don’t I want to do it, I’m worried it secretly means he’s gay.I found out my husband had sex with a hooker on his bachelor’s night just before we got married. What should I do now? That was five years and two kids ago. He deeply regrets it and swears he’s never cheated before or since and that his friends pushed him into it.I like getting quite wild and noisy in bed but it seems to freak men out. Should I calm it down? I don’t feel like I should but I don’t want to scare men off either! My previous long-term partner used to like it. And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

4 Jan 202225min

Back by popular demand, this week we're re-releasing episode 19. In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:My friends talk about their partners always hassling them for sex but I have the opposite problem. My husband is the one who doesn’t want it. Is he having an affair? Does it mean he doesn’t find me attractive anymore? I’m too embarrassed to talk to my friends.My partner of five months wants to know how many lovers I’ve had. Let’s say I have reinvented myself just a little and that number might be a lot higher than he’s expecting. Should I lie?My husband has a fantasy of seeing me with another man. When he told me about it, it really turned me on and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Am I crazy or selfish for wanting to indulge this in real life? My husband seems really keen to. Is this common and where would we even start with finding someone? And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

28 Dec 202120min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:I have been with my girlfriend for over a year and still don’t know where I stand. It’s all about her and always has been. She is a very good-looking, sexy woman and I think she secretly thinks she can do better than me. (I’m OK looking but nothing special.) I love her and give her all the attention in the world, but she treats me badly and doesn’t seem to care about anyone but herself. I try to talk to her about my needs but she barely listens. The relationship runs hot and cold. Is there any point in hanging around?My husband and I are keen to have a threesome but also know that these things go wrong all the time. Can you give us some tips on how to make things go smoothly?How do you know if you’re good in bed? My ex told me one of the reasons he broke up with me was because I wasn’t great in the sack and it’s shattered my confidence. I’m not sure if it was said in anger or is actually true. How do I tell? And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

21 Dec 202127min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:I’m a woman in my mid-20s and I have just met a man I think is the love of my life. He feels the same. The problem is, neither of us had any intention of settling down for at least 10 years. I’ve just finished a degree and started a job that requires long hours. Same for him. I wish I could put him in the deep freeze and thaw him out again when I’m ready. What should I do?How do I know if I’m peeing when I climax or ejaculating? This happens sometimes when I’m masturbating and orgasm. How do you tell the difference between urine and the fluid produced during female ejaculation?I’ve noticed my penis is changing shape. It’s now bent and curves to the right when it’s erect. I’m newly divorced and about to get out there dating. Is this something I need to be concerned or embarrassed about? I mentioned it to my doctor but she brushed me off, saying this can happen after a certain age (I’m 45) and not to worry about it. Should I mention it before I have sex with someone new, so she doesn’t get alarmed? And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15 Dec 202121min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:A friend of mine (25 years old) has been seeing a married man in his forties who has a child. This has been going on for four years. They've been through some serious things and their 'relationship' is very clearly becoming even more toxic. We’ve all tried to tell her SO many times to stop what she's doing as it's not right and things will never pan out. He's been promising to end things with his wife since they started seeing each other. But recently, he's started to become aggressive and clingy, asking her where she is what she's doing and if she's seeing anyone. She's tried breaking things off before and he's turned up to her workplace looking for her. I’m worried about her safety. How do I drum some sense into her?My boyfriend fell asleep while he was giving me oral sex the other night. Is this normal?? I was so insulted. Is he that uninterested in doing it to me?I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now and she has brought up the idea of her starting an ONLY FANS account. She thinks it’s a great way of making money, which I understand as we are both in our 20’s but I feel really uncomfortable with her posting sexy content publicly to other people. Do I have the right to feel that way? It’s her body and her choice. When I bring it up she just seems to mention the money benefits and doesn’t seem to care about the other side of it. I don’t know what to do. And offers her sex tip of the week!To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously on zibbyowens.com/sex.Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Dec 202124min