Don't Mom Alone Podcast1 Okt 2018

Idols of Motherhood Elyse Fitzpatrick Ep 219

We’ve all been there. Your kid throws a fit in public and you feel the sting of embarrassment and the subtle lie that you aren’t a good enough mom. You fear what others will say and feel like the entire day is ruined in this one encounter.

My guest Elyse Fitzpatrick has lived in this place of fear and presents another way to view your worth as a mother — resting in the righteousness of Jesus. She shares about the very common and subversive idols of motherhood to slip in when we try to control our children’s performance.

But see that’s absolutely soul destroying because you either end up in fear and despair or pride and despair. That’s where you always end up when you’re living for your own righteousness. So in the days that I can lay down and in bed at night and say, ‘Yeah nailed it,’ then I am in pride.

If you’ve struggled to feel “OK” in your own power or have found your personal joy tethered to your kids’ behavior, this episode is for you. Elyse gives us the simple reminder that we have the power through Jesus to topple the idols in our life.

I began to understand this is really idolatry and I’m driving my kids insane trying to prove that I’m really an OK person. That I’m OK when they’re good and I’m a complete train wreck and bad and a loser when they’re not. But, when Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, then idols lose their power to entice us.

What we chat about:

Elyse’s blended family structure and her son’s adoption
The balance of the disciplinarian and the more fun parent
Insecurity about our own faith and the lie of trying to control our kids
The danger of looking for identity in the way our kids behave
Looking for the places in our lives where we feel afraid, angry or worried as a barometer for where we aren’t believing God
Identifying idols in our lives and what they can look like
How our children make us look or feel in front of others can bring up anger in us
Elyse’s relationship with her mother and the background of her perceived need for control
When Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, our idols lose their power
Not letting our joy be tethered to our kids’ behavior, or even our behavior
Our self-centered struggle to feel “OK” in our own power
How living for our own self righteousness leads to a soul destroying cycle of pride and despair
Resting in the righteousness of Christ and remembering we are forgiven

Links Mentioned:

Front Porch with the Fitzes Podcast
Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick **
The Expulsive Power of a New Affection by Thomas Chalmers**
No Other Gods Bible Study Book by Kelly Minter**

**Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.

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An Easier Way Bonni Greiner Ep 120

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

13 Maj 201637min

The Art of Nurturing Boys :: David Thomas [Ep 119]

I’m not a boy. Yet I’m raising four of them to be men. And as much as culture tries to tell us there aren’t differences between boys and girls. My every day experience begs to differ. I truly don’t understand the “why” behind most of my boys’ choices. And it never benefits me to ask. This week (for my own help and maybe yours too) I’ve invited David Thomas on the show. As a family therapist and director at DayStar Counseling Center in Nashville, David has lots of experience counseling families and children. Having his own set of twin boys has provided a lot of education as well. The first book I ever read that gave me a glimpse into the mind of a boy is David’s book “Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys”**. Then I heard him speak at a DotMom event and I’ve always wanted to have him on the show. Our conversation did not disappoint. David’s genteel manner and calm approach gave me such peace. Afterwards I felt encouraged and equipped to not only “handle” my boys but enjoy their uniqueness. David answered a slew of questions I received on Facebook from listeners. But a theme emerged in each topic we covered: outlets and boundaries. David would point out a need boys have and how we as moms could provide a proper outlet for that need. But he also gave great instruction on how to train on boys in regulation, by setting boundaries on where and when those needs can be met. If you are a boymom, get ready to be set free from a lot of guilt over “why your boy does that”. And given some practical ideas to help create places and times in your family’s schedule to let “boys be boys” but not allow that phrase to be an excuse for unkind or inappropriate behavior. If you’re not a boymom, I hope this will still be an entertaining episode to help you understand your husband, nephews, friend’s son. And stay tuned because I’m working with David’s partner Sissy Goff to record a “Raising Girls” episode this fall. (Of course, feel free to share this episode with any boymom friends you have. . .they will thank you!). What we chat about: When and how to let boys rough-house/wrestle How “Stage One boys” (ages 1 to 4 years old) express love with aggression. Providing an outlet and training regulation and respect. How to help our boys who feels things deeply (the ones often labeled as ‘sensitive’). Giving boys ways to process emotions with space and physical outlets. Helping boys hear our directions and respond to us. Taking advantage of how boys are hardwired visually. How to handle when boys talking about private parts, farting, etc. 4 & 14 year old boys and their testosterone surges. Links Mentioned: Brooke McGlothlin (Thank you Brooke for connecting us!) Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys ** Mini Trampoline ** ($25 option) Trampoline with handle bar ** ($70 option) 5 Practical Actions to Help Boys Behave Birds and the Bees? Oh Help Me Please with Mary Flo Ridley (Ep 25) Raising Boys and Girls **Amazon affiliate link

9 Maj 201658min