Don't Mom Alone Podcast26 Feb 2018

Sinners Married to Sinners Cheryl Scruggs Jae Carpenter Ep 195

It’s not all sunshine and roses in marriage, even when both you and your husband follow Jesus. My guests today share about one of the most painful possibilities in a marriage —infidelity.

My friend Jae tells her story of learning her husband had an affair and the work God did in both of their lives to restore their marriage. Licensed professional counselor Cheryl Scruggs shares about her infidelity, divorce, and eventual re-marriage, along with a lot of practical advice and scriptures she learned in the seven years she was separated from her husband.

The main takeaway? HOPE. There is hope for your marriage. It’s not easy, because we’re all sinners, but God can heal and restore us when we surrender it all to him.

For all of us in marriage, I think it’s important that we are paying attention. In John 10:10 it says that the thief comes kill, steal and destroy, but I have come to give you life and life abundantly. God wants us to have a great marriage, not easy, not perfect. But it’s really understanding we’re both sinners and how are we going to walk this walk together in this relationship as a sinner married to a sinner.

**If you are in a relationship where you or your children have been physically abused, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or http://www.thehotline.org.

What we chat about:

Cheryl Scruggs and Jae share their marriage stories.
Discovering God’s plans for marriage.
Hope for restoration in marriage even after an affair.
How do you know if God is asking you to stay in a marriage?
Trusting God with your spouse and being open to what he wants to teach you and show you.
Understanding our role as a wife God has called you to be.
Recognizing the situations where it’s necessary to leave a marriage (physical safety, lifestyle of infidelity).
It takes time for healing in marriage.
Physical intimacy throughout marriage conflicts.
Balancing advice from friends and family with what God wants for your marriage.
Biblical roles in marriage.

Scriptures Mentioned:

- Eph. 3:20 – Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
- Matthew 19:26 – Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
- Deuteronomy 8:1-10 – Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors. Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands… For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land. [read full passage]
- John 10:10 – The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Links Mentioned:

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The Ripple Effect of Healthy Sexual Connection :: Francie Winslow [Ep 138]

Three years ago she directed us to soul healing. Two years ago she reminded us of the power of sex in marriage. Francie Winslow is back. This time to share what she’s learned about the exponential impact marital intimacy has on the world around us. In the past two years Francie has been doing extensive research on theology of the body. Exploring how God stamped His image on us. How we express our roles as image bearers through sex in marriage. God is an invisible God who wants to make himself visible to us. When man and woman come together as one it’s his invitation for humanity to become one with God. Intimately connected with Him. Francie shares their own family stress and her personal struggle with anxiety. Things that can disrupt marital connection. She vulnerably shares how she and her husband have purposefully chosen sex over isolation. God’s training us to fight for connection and for each other instead of against each other. Love Francie’s practical tips for keeping technology in check. So often screens and devices creep in between couples, increasing the distance and decreasing the intimacy. Don’t miss the list of great resources below to help train your children in forming a healthy perspective of the body and sex. What we chat about: Francie’s journey to learn sex isn’t dirty or a duty but a delight. Her recent study of theology of the body. How anxiety and adoption stress led Francie and her husband to choose to have more sex (you read that right). How technology impacts our marital connection and practical solutions Help and healing for women who struggle with their view of sex. A reminder to daily do the things that keep you alive as a person. The Ripple Effect of sex in marriage. A word of encouragement for the single mom. Training our kiddos in a healthy sexual worldview (check out Francie’s resource list below). Links Mentioned: Soul Freedom (encore)Episode The Power of Sex in Marriage Episode Andy Crouch Beth Moore’s Daniel Study** Francie’s Resource List: Theology of the Body Books for Kids by Monica Ashour Every Body is Smart: God Helps Me Listen & Choose** Every Body Has a Body: God Made Girls & Boys** Every Body is a Gift : God Made Us to Love** God Has a Plan for Boys & Girls ** Every Body Has Something to Say** Every Body Has Something to Give** Get these books (as many as you can!) and read them over and over and over. They are great for a range of ages – not just toddlers. Not only will it help form a great spiritual foundation for your kids as they enter a sexually intense world as kids (sadly it happens young these days), it will help you as a grown up re-learn how to think about bodies, sexuality and identity. It will also help give you simple, common language to use on an everyday basis in your home. They have all been such a big part of us growing in this new way of seeing the gift of sex as a family. For older kids: The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality** by Luke Gilkerson (there are several others to go with this series too). Loving this one right now with my 8 year old.) Before I Was Born (God’s Design for Sex)** by Carolyn Nostrum Good Pictures, Bad Pictures : Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids ** by Kristen Jensen Theology of His Body/Theology of Her Body** by Jason Evert This was written with college kids in mind, but I found it super helpful and use it woven into conversations with my kids. For those who want more depth…Theology of the Body for Beginners** by Christopher West **Amazon Affiliate Link Sex is a multiplying factor in our lives, not just with producing kids, but producing a massive amount of connection.

17 Okt 201646min